directions from my dreams

第三人称

2012-01-05T00:46:00.002+08:00

凌晨时分。

她坐在餐桌前，有些无聊地望着桌上的笔记电脑。眼角一瞟，让笔记电脑遮掩住、坐在她正对面的姐姐正睡得东歪西倒，嘴角还挂着一行口水。这样大咧咧的睡姿，出现在一个未来教师的身上，还真叫她不知作何感想。

但反正这样的姿态姐姐也只会在家中展示，所以也无所谓啦。

电脑屏幕上，显示着她的网上日记输入页面。

她有些疑惑地盯着屏幕，过了半响才想起自己在做什么。

是了，她本来在安排下学期的课程表，然后不知怎么地到脸书上浏览了好一阵，后来才开始更新她的网上日记。

眨了眨有些酸涩的眼睛，她知道自己应该去睡了，可不知怎么的就是不想停下手指在笔记电脑键盘上的滑动。

打字打到一半，她忽又停下来，眉头微皱地瞪着电脑屏幕。

写日记，一向是她发泄情绪的管道。最近发生的事，多让她身心疲惫，她总想找个时间好好把一切写下来，可如今时间找到了，她却有些不知该从何写起。

走廊里传来一阵熟悉的脚步声，她心一惊，抬头一看，果真见到轻眠的母亲拖着脚步走出。母亲眯着眼，在适应了饭厅里的光线后，就无视姐姐地向她走来。

“现在几点了？你还没睡？”

“唔，就快了... ...” 含糊地应了声，她心里有些暗自希望母亲不要追究下去，要不然还不知道该怎么回应。

母亲看了她一眼，也没多说什么就转身上了厕所，然后在回房时才提醒要她早睡。

待母亲进房后，她又转头面向电脑屏幕，手指开始在键盘上滑动。

可打不到几个字，浓浓睡意便席卷而来。

靠在墙上，她闭上眼睛，以为休息一下就可以继续更新日记，但差一点就睡着了。睁眼、闭眼，睁眼、闭眼，她反复地做了这动作几次，可仍旧驱散不了睡意。

窗外传来一些声响，好似有人在敲着什么东西。她有些好笑地想着，这还真像古代时的更夫打更呵。

照常理说，暗夜里还能听到从七楼窗外传来的声响，任谁也都会给吓坏了。她回想起，自己以前在这种情况下听到声响时，也确实是吓傻了，鸡皮疙瘩一颗颗不受控制地冒出来。可如今熬夜熬得多了，她竟也没感到这样的情况有多吓人，这样能算是一种‘熟能生巧’吗？

耳边传来一阵嗡嗡声，她感到一阵的晕眩，知道自己实在是撑不了多久了。都起耳鸣了，自然是该进房睡了。

她才不要跟姐姐一起当厅长嘞。

简单地将电脑调为睡眠状态，她走到厨房了把水杯里的水给倒掉了，才拿起置放在面包盒后的留言板，写下交待母亲明日叫她早起的字句。

想想，又觉得不妥，还是在留言后加了‘很重要’三个字。

然后，摇头晃脑地走进了睡房，一头栽在床上，一夜好眠。

责任

2011-12-13T01:10:00.002+08:00

自己真的很受保护。

这不是现在才察觉的事，可我却从没对此有如此深刻的认知。

在家里，我一直都备受疼爱。我任性挥霍，恣意追求自己的梦想，却似乎不怎么考虑到在身后包容着我的父母。

其实，他们一直在纵容我哪。

没有他们，哪来的学费，哪来的零花钱，哪来的家。

哪来的温暖。

难以想象，如果有一天他们倒下了，自己会怎么办。

虽然老爸真的很臭屁很大男人主义很爱使唤人，超级小气吝啬，跟他多拿一分钱简直就像会要了他的命，凭着大嗓门每次吵架都让我吓得不敢出声，可至少我清楚，他还是在关心这个家的，要不然不会仍旧交房屋贷款、给妈妈生活费、载我上下学还偶尔关心一下我的课业（虽然口气也不怎么好的说）。

要不负责任，他早就可以撒手不管。

以前小时候看事很单一，世界不是黑就是白，不是好人就是坏人，所以每次被老爸欺负得呱呱叫时会认为他是坏人。这种从小养出来的观念根深蒂固，长大后也不怎么改变——尤其当老爸每次都很一针见血地说出我的缺点时，爱面子又爱自欺的我当然会不高兴。可现在想想，其实他的话也让我成长了，即使再怎么不情愿但也变相地逼着我去面对自己的缺点，——尽管改不改得掉是另一回事，但至少我开始面对了，不是吗？当然，在这点上我两个姐姐也很不遗余力地‘帮助’我，尤其是二姐，啧，有时我都怀疑现在听到对我有不好的评语时我也应该能不怎么在乎的性格，一半是拜她所赐，虽然按照她的说法，是她帮我练就了一副‘金刚不坏’之身... ...

但这种‘练’法，我不怎么喜欢就是了。

妈妈呢，不用说了，她的关怀是很明显的。我从小就依赖她、对她撒娇、听她讲一些生活上的事，从中学到很多道理。要是有人说今天的我个性不错、道德价值观也算正确、答应别人的事一定会尽力做好，那我会很自豪地说，这是我妈妈教的。

因为，这是我从小就从她身上学到的道理：要敬老尊贤、要关心家人、要懂得体谅别人、能力所及就尽量帮助别人、多想想别人对你的好而不是他们对你的坏、得饶人处且饶人、要守信诚实、要学会分担家务... ...这些林林总总，看起来似乎不怎么起眼的价值观，全是妈妈一条条教我的，并身体力行着。初识这世界的懵懂幼童，大多只跟着所见到的去做，我很庆幸，我看到的是妈妈。

现在，接触到的人比较多，更加了解这世界之后，才发现自己是何其幸运，能够拥有这样的妈妈。别人家的妈妈，不一定会在早上四点钟起来，帮孩子准备早餐准备上学，可我的妈妈会，而且是已经养成习惯了，现在让她睡迟她都会睡不下。别人家的妈妈，不一定会餐餐煮食，并一定要有汤有肉有菜，但我的妈妈会，而且还会怕我们吃腻而去研究食谱，尽量照顾到每个人的不同喜好，这是多累的一件事，她虽偶有抱怨却也仍旧继续揣摩继续调适。别人家的妈妈，不一定会每天打扫居家，家务杂物全一手包办，可我的妈妈会，而且不论多累都会做完家务后才休息，偶尔遇上大考期间还会包容我们把我们份内该做的都一并做了。

这样的妈妈，多好。

所以，自比较懂事，我总希望能疼疼妈妈。我们三姐妹个性不同、爱好不同、志向不同，但在某一点上我们都很坚持——一定要对妈妈好，多宠宠妈妈，尽量不要让妈妈生气。出门要注意妈妈喜欢的东西，下次买给她；妈妈的要求尽量做到，不要忤逆她；家务多做一点，别让她太累；跟老爸吵架时挺妈妈，因为多数时间都是妈妈被老爸欺负，而且说句实话——大多数妈妈和老爸吵架，妈妈的立场都是对的。

但我必须得承认，我仍旧不是一个好女儿。很多事，我虽然会想到却未必会做得到。这样的我，有时连我自己都会觉得惭愧万分。老爸、妈妈对我付出甚多、无论从最世俗的金钱还是抽象的感情期许都有，甚至，我怀疑在照顾我这件事上他们花费的力气是最多的——尤其因为我三不五时就生病、前年查出的眼疾，更是因为我的个性别扭极致，不知变通——但我却仍旧似乎什么也无法帮到他们。有人说，孩子的快乐就是父母最大的欣慰，可这真的是挺不实际的想法。孩子快乐了，不管父母了，父母会欣慰吗？现实点吧，不是说理想的世界我们不该去追求，可再这么理想化，也要有限度。乌托邦、桃花源是构造出来的虚物，很美好很令人向往，可也不见得世界上真有什么社会能够执行那样的理念。

我希望，自己能够为这个家付出多一点点，让父母的负担少一点点。这个家，既然是父母为守护我而建造的，那我便也有守护它的责任、守护我父母的责任。世上很多关系不一定是对等的，不是说我爱你你就必须爱我，但在保护这个家这方面，这里，我绝对坚信这是对等的关系，而且一生不变。

这是我对这个家、对自己的承诺，而我一定要做到。

一定。

承诺

2011-10-23T21:16:00.009+08:00

好吧，我承认我很偷懒，已经有多久没来这里了？

因为上大学之后的很多琐事要处理，再加上一堆作业要赶，所以也没什么时间或心情来写日记... ... 直到那天char说还有再看我的blog，哇，我才想起真的已经好久没来这里了。谢谢你默默的支持呀，char，现在就来回馈一点了！

朋友们，不管你们还在不在跟我的blog，还记得很久很久以前，我曾经说过要写一篇故事吗？这也是当初对自己承诺过的事，但可惜一直没有完成。到现在，很坦白的说，我想写的故事离可以给人看的程度，还有一段很远很远的距离... ... （人家申易都不懂已经发表几篇文了，只有我还在这里想想想，噢，真羞愧>.<）

但是我真的有写哦！只不过让我觉得不满意，被砍掉的也很多，所以，现在我已经写到第三个版本了... ... 但这个版本应该、极有可能不会被砍了！角色的定位都已经挺成熟了，我每天睡觉的时候他们还会跑进我脑子来用很幽怨的神情看着我，一直拼命地催促我把他们给吐出来。

这里只能说到这么多了，但说实在的，我没把握会在什么时候把这个故事给写完，所以也不会承诺太多，但肯定的是，这故事是的的确确存在的而且我也会写出来的，所以... ...呵、呵，看你们要不要等吧，但我劝你们还是不要等好了，就有一天再偶然翻起这网页或检查电邮时，突然有奇迹出现，我写完了！啊哈，那时候你们就知道我没骗你们了~

这里，献上一首我觉得很符合我故事里女主角心声的歌，请容笑纳：

天堂鸟 - 郑嘉嘉

你是一个流下眼泪的传说
让我憧憬也让我感到寂寞
你的爱是一种生活
凡尘容不下的如果
离开了我是痛还是解脱

怎么放心让你一个人流浪
为什么我没有能力飞翔
在梦里你在我身旁
提醒我一定要坚强
你说给我力量放下悲伤

你展开翅膀带我去你的天堂
让爱的光芒守护着你的太阳
你温柔的泪在我脸上像一个愿望
把这感觉收藏不会遗忘

拥有一颗永远淌着血的心
还有一个没有灵魂的身体
感觉自己柔弱无力
听见你呼唤的声音
回忆里突然呼吸变得清醒

你展开翅膀带我去你的天堂
让爱的光芒守护着你的太阳
你温柔的泪在我脸上像一个愿望
把这感觉收藏不会遗忘

你展开翅膀带我去你的天堂
在你的身旁能不能再爱一场
美丽的幻想爱的光芒我们的梦想
在我们的天堂

不会遗忘

反省

2011-06-27T14:31:00.002+08:00

扫一扫，弹一弹。好了，把该清除的灰尘都清除了，不多废话，就直接切入主题吧。

我即将展开人生旅途中的另一个阶段。说不上是兴奋还是害怕多一些，或许两者都有，有或许两者都没有吧？说实在的，活了19年，怎么到现在我还是有种茫茫然的感觉呢？

太糟糕了，是不？

看着同龄的朋友忙碌、欢笑、惊喜，我的生活却好像掉入了一片泥沼里，完全提不起劲。回顾一下过去的时光，才发现，还是在中学时代里的我最耀眼。那时的我，自信、快乐、仿佛只要垫起脚尖，就能摘到那颗最闪亮的星。

可怎么在上了高中之后，我的人生就完全走样呢？是转换环境的缘故吗，还是因为终于掉入现实世界里，猛然醒觉了：原来人生里包括了这么多复杂的东西？不是只要努力就能成功、不是只要你对别人好他们就会以同样的态度对你。原来人可以有那么多面，原来流言蜚语可以这么可怕。

有时想想，我还真像个长不大的孩子，怎么总以为童话里的单纯快乐都是真的呢？

这里是现实。现实现实现实，现实是你必须力争上游否则就会失去一切，现实是不会有人在意默默无名的丑小鸭，现实是你必须习惯有坏人的存在但不会有握剑的王子来拯救你。

现实是你必须自救，你必须笑脸迎人，你必须学会算计，即使不为伤人也是为自保和保护你所在乎的人。

现实总让人感到窒息。像一块大石头，压在胸口，怎么挪也挪不掉，怎么甩也甩不掉。

我始终相信，每个女孩心里总会住着一位善良、单纯、快乐的公主。她就如世界上所有童话里所述一般，是最美好的存在，耀眼如晨星，美丽不可方物。

可是，现在，我却渐渐看不到自己心里的那位公主了。

怎么办呢？

米虫生活

2011-05-16T22:07:00.005+08:00

我正过着米虫一般的生活。也在找工作啦，但是说，不是很拼命的在找就对了。
星座预测说，这个星期我的工作运平平，不要太强求，万事随缘。

Orz，所以，就随缘吧？呵呵。

二姐去加拿大已经快一个星期了，原本以为她走后我应该会觉得不自在，毕竟我每天都会在家里看到她嘛，忽然间就没见到了，一定会不习惯。

但没想到，我适应得很不错咧！

家里争厕所的少了一个人、坐在餐桌前不会因她的笔电挡住窗户而光线不足、走过她赖以维生的椅子时不会时不时被她笔电的电线或地上一堆拉拉杂杂的物品绊倒... ...

感觉超爽的！呵呵，二姐，我太珍惜你不在家的时光了！

... ...

哈哈，我没那么无情啦。虽然某人的坏习惯一堆、任性不讲理、爱乱吼人又死不肯承认，但是，少了你的家，好像空旷很多，白天也变得更安静了。所以，还是要说一句：二姐，我还是有想你的~

虽然说，拜网络通讯的便利所赐，我几乎每天都会看到你，所以也绝对不会有那种‘一日不见，如隔三秋’的感触。

当然，如果你不要每天网讯时都吵着要我帮你买包包或薯条的话，我想我会更想你一点的。

噁呀，写到这里我都快吐了。当你看到这里时，脸上一定正漾着那个百年不变、变态自恋兼邪佞的笑容吧，啧，想到都让我鸡皮疙瘩掉满地。不过，两个月不用看到那种笑，我也该感到欣慰了。

不过，看得出来，尽管变态二姐在家里总做一些令人悚然的事，妈妈还是很想你。每次说话，一定会说起你，每晚进行网络通讯时也是她最兴奋，还会每天依然在你的水杯和水壶里装满了水放在桌上，好像你随时都会从门外走进来，坐回那张椅子上。就连爸爸都问起你了咧，你看，我们全家人都有想你哦！

哈哈，祝你在加拿大读得轻松、玩得愉快啦！

最近，我也开始追看另一部韩剧——《最佳爱情》。

我很讨厌连载的东西，真的很讨厌，可偏偏这部韩剧目前才连载到第四集而已，让我有种欲哭无泪的感觉。

为什么，要陷进去呢？想当初，连《原来是美男》我也是等到快连载完时才去看的，所以不会被那种心痒难耐的感觉折磨，可这次... ...

唉，算了算了，看都看了，也不能洗刷掉我脑中的影像，我又能怎样？

喜欢洪氏姐妹编剧的人，一定不会错过这部戏。

呵呵，想看到一个比黄泰京更难搞的角色吗？想看多一部让你会笑到喷饭的剧集吗？那就去看《最佳爱情》吧！对我而言，这可是心情忧郁时的最佳调剂品呵！

呵呵，我期待看到更多同伴们陷入的情景~

开心的事

2011-04-26T23:52:00.002+08:00

因为现在正在做很开心的事，所以无论付出多少，我都觉得那是值得的=）
就希望成品出来会不错，呵呵！

有几条好消息！

第一，华中口琴乐团终于扬眉吐气，在2011 SYF拿到了金奖！
鼓掌鼓掌！哈哈，SHM你做到了！不要再觉得有压力！
虽然没有给予实际上的帮助（汗，这点还有些惭愧的，因为就算我有心想帮助，我自己半吊子一个，因该会越帮越忙吧... ... ），可是看到学弟学妹们凭着自己的实力摘下这个奖，还是为他们感到很开心！要继续加油哦！

第二，我收到国大和南大的录取书了！
好惊险，我都以为自己可能被KO掉了，每次听到朋友们说他们去某某大学某系的面试，我的心就会缩紧——似乎全天下的人都收到至少一份录取书了，只剩我还在那里有些惶然地等着！如今可以松一口气了。

现在，只剩学费问题了。
其实，直到现在我还是没放弃，还是希望有机会可以拿到一份奖学金。只不过这机会呀，看似微乎其微，唉。

不想说这些了，说了只会更心灰。

最近，妈妈迷上了《原来是美男》里的张根硕。每天都再重复地看影集，然后把电视关掉前先让影集定格在某个张根硕微笑的画面，才欢天喜地的回去厨房做菜。

“ 因为这样，每天一开电视就可以看到帅哥呀~ ” 她是这么解说的，还一副 ‘ 你真笨，怎么都不了解我的想法 ’ 的模样。

... ...

无语。

她还收集剪报嘞！只要一看到张根硕的照片就笑得合不拢嘴，帅哥帅哥地叫个不停。现在，她的梦想是买三张超大型的张根硕在微笑的海报，一张贴在客厅，一张贴在厨房，一张贴在睡房。因为这三的地方，是她最常出入的，这样就可以每天欣赏他的风采。

于是乎，在某天经过Comics Connections 时，我就特意绕进去想找张根硕的海报。

哦，说实在的，以前每次进去Comics Connections 我就只是找漫画而已，第一次去翻找明星的海报，想来还真是挺花痴的。当然，亲亲母亲大人难得那么疯狂地崇拜着一个人，如果可以买来令她开心也算值得啦！

可是，我找到海报时，当场就有三条黑线划下脸颊。

因为，妈妈的梦想，太贵了！
一叠十二张的海报，价格是$32.90。

很可悲的，这价格比我当时在钱包里的钱还多 =.=

于是，我很灰头土脸地从那间店离开了。

真不知道妈妈的痴迷会几时停止噢！

当然，不可否认的，当我一头栽在《原来是美男》的剧情的那时，我也曾经对他很着迷。不过，我可没像妈妈那样！

妈妈，不要海报啦，换我从电脑打印出几张他的照片给你，好不好？=）

娱乐

2011-04-05T16:01:00.002+08:00

吃鸡饭的时候。

二姐：妹，我要你的皮。
我： ... ... （默默看着自己手上的皮肤）
二姐：快点啦！把皮拔了给我！我要吃啦！
我：真拔下来给你，是血淋淋的哦，你确定要吃吗？
二姐：（瞪）我要吃你鸡饭里鸡肉上的鸡皮啦！

以上片断，是在家里吃鸡饭时常发生的小插曲。

仅供娱乐用途参考，哈哈。=)

New Blogskin!

2011-03-22T23:21:00.006+08:00

A new blogskin! =)

I think this blogskin's really nice! Especially the girl in the chair reading a book, sitting under the tree - I think that's my ideal life. Leading a peaceful and relaxing life and doing hobbies I like! =)

最近也在找书读。好书难求呀，找不到一本让我读了可以回味久久的书... ...
有什么推荐吗？

新Blogskin，所以也有新歌！郭静的《心墙》，一首既朝气又甜蜜的歌！很配我的新博客主题吧~

哈哈，瞎掰的啦！
这首歌有另一个版本，由林俊杰演唱。个人认为，如果说郭静的版本让人听了有一种女生观察喜欢的男孩后的甜蜜心得，那林俊杰的版本就是一种，男生对心爱的女生的体贴与照顾，感情上更加的细腻。

这边也把林俊杰版本的歌放在这里了！

这边也放上了我最近很喜欢的一首歌，梁静茹的《属于》。这首歌词挺贴近我现在正经历的一些事。先声明，我知道这首歌是在形容爱情的，可是我所提的、正在经历的事无关爱情，只是某些部分的歌词引起了共鸣。换一个角度去看，我也想勉励自己，和那些因为种种不同原因而伤心的人们，‘属于我们各自点点滴滴的伤心，我们要各自忘记’。

最后，祝福在世界各地的人们，尤其是最近灾祸不断的日本，希望他们能够平安、无忧地生活着，走出昨日的伤痛，展开一个新的未来。每一天的朝阳升起，就是每一个崭新的希望，期待世界上的人们都能得到他们所应有的幸福。

累

2011-03-20T14:20:00.002+08:00

很累、很累、很累。
做什么事都少了冲劲。

为什么会这样呢？

望着那一堆等着我去写的奖学金文章，我就产生了想要逃避的念头。
待完成的事一堆，可没有一件是我想完成的。

或许又是心里的自卑感作祟，还是被现实给征服了？
不过不管怎样，我还是不会放弃的。
要笑就尽管笑吧，反正我正在磨炼我的脸皮，那些嘲笑正好可以让我的脸皮练得更厚。
但请不要给我同情的眼光，那会让我讨厌你。

不过，还是好累呀。
究竟这股‘累’是来自心理、还是生理上，我实在已经不能分辨了。
累、累、累。

***

最近在网上偶然掠过这个字眼：上善若水，就去翻查了一下这个词语的释义。这才发现这词语出自老子《道德经》，而且意义非凡呢。

词目：上善若水

解释：最高境界的善行就像水的品性一样，泽被万物而不争名利。

通俗一说：水有滋养万物的德行，它使万物得到它的利益，而不与万物争利，故天下最大的善性莫如水。

出处：老子的《道德经第八章》（易性第八）：上善若水。水善利万物而不争，处众人之所恶，故几于道。居善地，心善渊，与善仁，言善信，政善治，事善能，动善时。夫唯不争，故无尤。

译文：最善的人好像水一样。水善于滋润万物而不与万物相争，停留在众人都不喜欢的地方，所以最接近于“道”。最善的人，居处最善于选择地方，心胸善于保持沉静而深不可测，待人善于真诚、友爱和无私，说话善于恪守信用，为政善于精简处理，能把国家治理好，处事能够善于发挥所长，行动善于把握时机。最善的人所作所为正因为有不争的美德，所以没有过失，也就没有怨咎。

摘自： http://baike.baidu.com/view/1928.htm#2

老子铁事——孔子问礼（部分摘要）

老子手指浩浩黄河，对孔丘说： “汝何不学水之大德欤？”

孔丘曰： “水有何德？”

老子说： “上善若水：水善利万物而不争，处众人之所恶，此乃谦下之德也；故江海所以能为百谷王者，以其善下之，则能为百谷王。天下莫柔弱於水，而攻坚强者莫之能胜，此乃柔德也；故柔之胜刚，弱之胜强坚。因其无有，故能入于无间，由此可知不言之教、无为之益也。”

孔丘闻言，恍然大悟道： “先生此言，使我顿开茅塞也：众人处上，水独处下；众人处易，水独处险；众人处洁，水独处秽。所处尽人之所恶，夫谁与之争乎？此所以为上善也。”

老子点头说： “汝可教也！汝可切记：与世无争，则天下无人能与之争，此乃效法水德也。水几於道：道无所不在，水无所不利，避高趋下，未尝有所逆，善处地也；空处湛静，深不可测，善为渊也；损而不竭，施不求报，善为仁也；圜必旋，方必折，塞必止，决必流，善守信也；洗涤群秽，平准高下，善治物也；以载则浮，以鉴则清，以攻则坚强莫能敌，善用能也；不舍昼夜，盈科后进，善待时也。故圣者随时而行，贤者应事而变；智者无为而治，达者顺天而生。汝此去后，应去骄气于言表，除志欲于容貌。否则，人未至而声已闻，体未至而风已动，张张扬扬，如虎行于大街，谁敢用你？”

孔丘道： “先生之言，出自肺腑而入弟子之心脾，弟子受益匪浅，终生难忘。弟子将遵奉不怠，以谢先生之恩。” 说完，告别老子，与南宫敬叔上车，依依不舍地向鲁国驶去。

摘自： http://baike.baidu.com/view/2237.htm

说实在的，古仁人的智慧真让人钦佩！“上善若水”，一句话就概括了深厚的思想、为人处事的道理！读了之后，确实有一种茅塞顿开的感觉。

突发奇想：若当初汉武帝没有 “罢黜百家，独尊儒术”，那现在华人社会里所奉行的种种理念又会是怎样的呢？积极入世的儒家思想与淡外出世的道家思想，是不是可以并存的呢？至今，在我有限的知识里，似乎只有宋代苏轼以“外儒内道”的处世之道广为人传，就不知道古今中外还有没有其他县人也能融儒、道及一身？

终究也只是胡思乱想罢了。

遗憾

2011-03-08T22:48:00.002+08:00

人与人呀，真的很奇妙。生命里，在最无伪的时刻里遇上的人们，你会怎么对待他们？

曾经那段最纯真的岁月里，我发愿要以诚待人，对每个人都呈现自己最真实的一面。可到最后，我才发现，真实，不一定对每一件事、不一定对每一个人都是最宝贵的对待方式。有时，隐瞒是另一个比较好的选择；有时，埋藏起自己，友谊才能走得长久。

很遗憾，在我最真诚的日子里遇见我的人们，那时的我太不懂事了，以为最真实、最赤裸的一面就能为我们的友谊换来长久的命运。我总是愚蠢的毫不为彼此保留一丝隐私的余地，那么坦白得令人生怯生畏，在无意中伤了你们的同时，却也让居心不轨的人们伤了我自己。

回想起以往的日子，十八年多的岁月里，是的，我真的做了很多不必要的事，惹了很多自讨苦吃的麻烦。我似乎从来不曾学乖，固执得不肯相信这世间、这社会运转的道理，所以，总到最后满身伤痕。

可是，我依然觉得以诚待人是一件好事，但要怎么在其中不受到伤害呢？

或许，这就是为什么我依旧站在这世上吧。总要在无数跌倒中爬起，人生才有滋味，不是吗？

依然

2011-03-06T22:45:00.002+08:00

保持微笑。

现在啊，向前看，大步大步地往前走，也没什么可担心的了。
知道了成绩之后，反而有了一种心安的感觉，至少不会再忐忑、不会再胡思乱想。入睡后，也不会被所梦到的景象吓哭了，还担心妈妈明天早上会不会从通红的双眼中瞧出什么端倪。

成绩在预料之中。不过对H2 CLL 有些失望，毕竟这两年以来，我为这科学科下了多少苦功啊，可是到了最后，还是没办法得到我所想要的成绩。庆幸的是，GP烂归烂，但没有被当掉，这是不幸中的大幸了，身边比较亲的朋友会明白我是什么意思。

身边的朋友们，为自己所得到的成绩或高兴、或失望，几家欢喜几家愁。不过，我还是要向你们很诚恳地说一句谢谢，为了你们曾经跟我走过那段时光，为了你们曾经给我的安慰、鼓励。谢谢！

抬起头，依然微笑。至少，我很明确前方的路该怎么走。

那些遗忘了的曾经，
褪色过往里的，灿烂笑颜，
羽化成了，空中尘屑。

捡拾一片，一片，一片——
可，笑！
谁还会记得
时间齿轮留下的痕迹？

风过，渐晴。

保持微笑

2011-02-25T22:07:00.003+08:00

“我不能等你一年零一个月，也不能等你到二十五岁，但我会等你一辈子。”

屏幕上闪现的这句话，是电影《山楂树之恋》的结束语。
不过，很可惜的，不知是神经细胞受到损伤还是怎样了的我，在身旁友人方向处传来阵阵吸鼻声时，我那一点点似有若无、蓄在眼眶的雾气在看到这句话时就散了。
请容我不自量力的评论：这样的结束语，有点画蛇添足了。

不能不说，我觉得张艺谋导演的电影一向都很有水准的，这部也不例外，不过，这部电影好像少了一些让人感到震撼的感觉，所以我有一点点小小的失望。

不过，所谓的纯爱电影，可能就像是这样的吧，可能，就是力求把最平凡的一段爱情表现出来，让人们从难得的朴实无华中看见真爱的美好，不必震撼、只要感动。如果是这样，那张导演的目标应该已经达到了，大多数的人都会为那样的爱情落泪，至少，电影院里的吸鼻声可不是假的，我那一点点的泪水也不是假的。

总归来说，可能我真的是个冷血动物吧，否则不会在友人哭得稀里哗啦时，我只是应景般的掉个一两滴泪就再也哭不出来了。现在回想起来，要说我被主角们的爱情感动，不如说我被女主角那个去堕胎的朋友比较印象深刻。那种眼神、那种苍白的神色、说着“一旦被男人得手后，女人就变得一文不值”的无谓，竟有些诡异的反映了现代人的爱情观。

欲望、痛苦、迷茫。

这世上，还真的有像男女主角之间一样，所谓‘干净的爱情’么？

或许不该这么悲观，这个世界那么大，肯定有的！
或许，我才是那个最没有资格谈论这些的人，毕竟我也没有经历爱情，人家可还是小姑独处哦！

是说，对于自己现在这样的情况，其实我不排斥，很自由啊，也不必有那么多‘我喜欢他可是万一他不喜欢我该怎么办’、‘他好像喜欢我耶那我有没有喜欢他’、‘我们应该在一起吗’诸如此类的烦恼。

嘿嘿，无（感情）事一身轻，就像我这样啦！

今天放学后，我和跟我同甘共苦的好同志一起去吃Swensen's 冰淇淋。嘿嘿嘿，放学后以美食填饱自己的肚子，绝对是一件让人幸福万分的事。

尤其是冰淇淋哦，入口即化，甜甜冷冷的，呵呵，让我什么烦恼都忘了，开心指数爆表！
当然，人是绝对不可以太过高兴的，这会让老天眼红，之后你就会被命运的离奇转折给整得欲哭无泪了。

就像我，太过高兴了，享受冰淇淋时真的把一切给抛诸脑后，也把随身携带的宝贝文件夹也抛在座位上了，等到回家跳下巴士时才发现竟然两手空空。

那一刻，我的脑袋一片空白，在被惊吓过度后，我试图理性地分析文件夹最有可能落在哪里，最后还得搭回同一趟巴士（因为我家邻里是环线式的巴士路程，我在对街的巴士站等了好久，后来竟然看到同一辆载我回家的巴士驶了出来，那个巴士司机还认得我咧，一副‘这么快又看到你啦’的模样，真是让我无地自容！）回到餐厅里拿回文件夹。

真是白白多出了不少交通费，唉。

所以说，下会遇上令人高兴的事时可千万别让快乐冲昏了头，否则下一刻可真要去体会李清照《声声慢》里的‘凄凄惨惨戚戚’了... ...

快乐至上

2011-02-23T23:05:00.010+08:00

找找找。

在脑海里忽然翻出了很多年前看过的林志颖版的《绝代双骄》。记得那时大舅送给大姐作为奖励她考试拿到好成绩的礼物是吧？

片头曲 - 快乐至上 by 林志颖

不夜的星辰开始了我的旅程
风在我右肩月亮在另外一边
黑夜白天我不想被困在里面

一个人悠哉的很哪
管不住的心想到哪就去哪
感觉乱有自尊
好的坏的有了爱就不怕陌生

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要开心就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
风多大声藏不住我的情深
经过的城都有温暖我冰冷的好人

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要幸福就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
爱多大声有情人才懂分寸
翻山越岭只是为了寻找
心中最想的人

一个人悠哉的很哪
管不住的心想到哪就去哪
感觉乱有自尊
好的坏的有了爱就不怕陌生

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要开心就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
风多大声藏不住我的情深
经过的城都有温暖我冰冷的好人

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要幸福就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
爱多大声有情人才懂分寸
翻山越岭只是为了寻找
心中最想的人

也许聪明的人少了一点天份
再苦再烦我活的认真
至少我会承认爱需要等一等
哭着笑着
不过就是一种过程

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要开心就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
风多大声藏不住我的情深
经过的城都有温暖我冰冷的好人

天再高我的快乐至上呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
只要幸福就好呵嘿呀呵嘿呀
爱多大声有情人才懂分寸
翻山越岭只是为了寻找
心中最想的人

很喜欢那句“ 经过的城都有温暖我冰冷的好人”，让我觉得有一种好像处处有温情的感觉。听着这首歌的时候，或许可以把心境放宽一点，别让自己拘束在“这是一首有关爱情的歌”的心理框框里，想象身边美好的友情、亲情... ... 你会发现，这首歌会变得更有意义。毕竟，不是只有男女之间才会有爱啊，“有情人”，有情之人绝不是单指那些拥有男女之爱的人们而已呀！

... ... 好吧这样说，似乎还是有点牵强。随便你怎么想吧，反正我也只是用我自己的角度来聆听这首歌，而我听到的，是一种对自由，对洒脱的期盼，偏偏就是听不到爱情的部分。

怪怪的，对不对？

Sleepover! And some reflections?

2011-02-20T16:15:00.006+08:00

Went for a sleepover at CT's house!

Haha, it was a lot of fun. Okay la, actually we didn't do much but just chat, watch movies, take photos, play monopoly...

But still it's awesome!

Yup, as I was telling my family, it's hard to find a group of people who you feel comfortable with everyone in that group. But our gatherings are always so cosy and nice!

Had a pillow fight with Mengfei - Fight for the Softer Pillow. I managed to grab the pillow from her lap when she wasn't looking! Haha, it's so hard for me to surprise/shock her, what with my slower reflexes compared to hers!

Sigh, but the next moment she pulled the blanket which we were sharing out from my lap =(

Perhaps the pillow fight couldn't be counted as a clean success then, actually.

Embarassed myself in the morning though, I couldn't wake up from my handphone alarm even though it was so loud. And even though I was holding it in my hand. Lol in the end Chern Tze had to shake me to wake me up.

Then we went for breakfast at Macs before heading home.

在回家的路上，望着巴士驾驶过熟悉的巴士站，一些感触就这么的涌上心头。
两年了呀，在这个地方就这么度过了我十七十八岁的时光，真有些不可思议。

仔细回想着当初踏进这里第一步的心情，那种胆怯却又诡异地协调着兴奋的感觉... ...

唉。我终究还是改变了。

我发现，最近自己常常回想起过去在我生命里所发生的事情。许多人对我说，人生应该是往前看的，可我的人生，却怎么老是在用来回忆过往的一切？

是往事太过美好、让我依依不舍吗？
不是的，那段过往，又何曾没有灰黯之处呢？

那我，在留恋些什么，在记挂着什么？
我也不知道。

如今的我，好像是暴风雨前的那场平静。隐隐约约，总觉得前方令我无比恐惧，所以，使劲的往后退，可我又怎么可能胜得了那时间往前推移的浪潮？

只能当个将头深埋沙里的鸵鸟，当个掩耳盗铃的贼子，当个闭上眼睛的胆小鬼。

其实，心里是知道的吧，只是死命的不肯拉开那扇门，否则门里的东西会令我无法生存。

怎么办呢？

Outing(s)!

2011-01-28T23:11:00.006+08:00

Went for outing at Cherntze's house. It cheered me up remarkably, and cleared my emo state =)

It's super relaxing, sitting on the floor and leaning back on the sofa.
It's super satisfying, to be able to eat pizzas while drinking pepsi and watch movies.
It's super refreshing, to listen to friends talking about their progress in life and joke around.
It's super warm, and my heart went all fuzzy at the thought of being surrounded by close friends again.

Let's meet up again okay? And Yiling, your suggestion to meet up on 5th Feb is so obvious, lol but we should try to do that =) Maybe we can meet up on 8th Feb, 2nd March, 14th July, 16th August, 26th October, 1st Jan... and repeat the cycles many many more times.

You know what these dates are right? =)

At Cherntze's house we watched Mean Girls and heed Yiling's special request for PS. I Love You. Oh well, we never managed to watch the second movie through though, it's got a little bit of, umm, stuff in that movie. As I was playing UNO with them I just occasionally lifted up my head and threw a glance at the TV screen. And what did I see?

阴阳调和。

By request of 6 other innocent girls Yiling has to give up her plan eventually. Oops.

Okay la, I guess what Yiling said is correct, every romance book seem to have this type of stuff, Chinese, English, whatever. I mean, I started reading 言情小说 at like, age 12-14, I read those type of stuff before so I'm not exactly innocent, unlike Mengfei who got stunned at almost every romance book we picked up at Borders that time before the Harmoc concert in December. But, hmm, I should say seeing the thing is more disgusting than reading the thing la.

Okay, so... oh wells, anyway the evening is still well enjoyed.

The next day was the NTU openhouse. Charmaine and me wanted to meet at like, 12 at Esplanade MRT station, but in the end we failed. Then we changed the time to 1pm, and I, well, I was still late. Sighs, typical of me? I think most people whom I went out with before will always know that I'll be late, it's almost like, a set thing already.

Anyway, we reached Suntec at like 1 plus, squeezed into room 209 for just like about 1 minute then we decided to get out. I mean, why suffocate yourself by listening to a presentation when you can't even see what's on the screen? Then both of us just go around collecting brochures and looking at booths.

Saw a few familiar faces, from MOE TAP SR906, HC, the most surprising was Natalie Ho from my Sec 1 class! And she still look as pretty as ever, sigh, I wonder how she managed be still so pretty after, umm, 6 years?

Listened to the NIE talk and realised that actually going into NIE's not bad an option. But my first choice's still NUS 中文系. Hope I can get in...

Surprisingly, it's the NIE talk that calmed me down the most when I thought of the first day of attachment on Monday. I wonder why, maybe because when I listened to the presenter talking about the teaching profession, images of teachers who taught me in the past came into my mind and I look forward to becoming as great as them.

Let's hope everything will go on fine for my attachment!

Keep hope, keep faith.

Somehow it seems wrong

2011-01-24T15:27:00.002+08:00

Somehow it just doesn't feel right.

I wonder what's wrong with me and my emoing again.

Maybe I should go to some secluded part of the world and just live there and heck care about other stuff.

I mean, who cares?

And orange is a nice colour.

世界末日吗?!

2011-01-23T13:31:00.002+08:00

写不出写不出写不出！

我写不出想了很久的故事！

啊！世界末日好像都没有比这个更可怕！！！！！

为什么为什么为什么！为什么就是感觉不对劲！！！！

难道，我真的不适合写作吗？

=（

生活一二事

2011-01-06T22:00:00.010+08:00

最近的生活很颓废。

每天睡到十二点才起身，然后吃午餐，接着看报纸，后来开电脑上网看戏/看小说/跟姐姐出去逛街。吃完晚餐后，开电脑看戏/看小说，到凌晨才睡觉。

隔天，重复。
后天，又重复。
大后天，依然重复。

知道我的生活有多腐烂吧？

因为生活作息不定，我也好像快感冒了=（
所以，这就说明了什么？

千万不要生活作息不定呀，免得病魔找上你。

今天，晚上跟妈妈和二姐逛街回家时，微风迎面吹来，将叶上的夜露吹过来，打在脸上，凉凉的，还伴随着落叶飘落，在橙黄色的街灯照耀下，那个意境，真的是很美的。我还因此产生一些灵感，这么美的景，不用美丽的语句记载下来，好像太浪费了吧？

于是乎，我就说了： “微风迎面拂来，将叶上的夜露吹洒在路人身上，这是多么惬意、诗意的画面啊！”

于是乎，我的二姐也说了：“那是叶子在尿尿，风把叶子的尿尿洒在我们身上了。” 还献上一个灿烂的微笑。

于是乎，我的什么诗情画意，就没有下文了。

-_-'''

有时候，有一个天才/天兵的姐姐不知是福还是祸。（应该是祸... ... 不，绝对是祸！）

不过，俗话说得好，就像我二姐常常挂在嘴边的话，天才与疯子，往往总是一线之差。
我肯定，我二姐绝对是靠近“疯子”那一边多一点的人。

应该不止多一点吧，是很多很多点吧？！

毕竟，你不会很常见到，一个因为发明“钱钱钱钱钱”舞而自豪异常的人，一个把一张椅子当成整个家的人，一个对你说，“你开的门比较像门”、“你拿的杯比较像杯”、“你抹的桌子比较像桌子”... ... 诸如此类的人。

起码，这样的生活多姿多彩？

错了，这是我人生的悲惨史。

我的辛酸啊... ...

***

I decided to merge all my Sungkyunkwan Scandal posts together!
So I can keep the posts which really, really only have one main focus *blush* on my blog a little longer when I update my blog =)

And so more people can admire him longer as well. =)

So, next to my next kdrama.

My Girlfriend is a Gumiho/我的女友是九尾狐

The script's written by the Hong Sisters, the same people who wrote the script for You're Beautiful. So expect it to be quite a light-hearted, nice drama =)

Hmm, personally, I think it's a nice enough drama. But somehow it doesn't have the same drawing power as You're Beautiful.

Maybe it's just not as hilarious, the characters not as eye-catching, the plot not as attention-drawing?

Or perhaps it just doesn't have Hwang Taek Kyung in the show.

I think, this character is really quite the epitome of the whole 偶像剧 syndrome, no matter which country the 偶像剧 is produced in.

For me, well, Sungkyunkwan Scandal's Moon Jae Shin got me 花痴ing over him, but I can only stare in awe at Hwang Taek Kyung. No other words than 'awe' can fit him better. Even though the YB craze has subsided for me, well, HTK craze certainly hasn't. Not like I love him to bits, but somehow his image will pop up in my mind and I'll want to look out for this character/this type of character in every drama I watch.

Though, thinking of the more practical side - if there's ever such a person like him in my life, I think I won't be able to stand him for even a day, what with his haughty but cute attitude, his weird yet interesting insistence on particular stuff and his eccentricities. He's a super complicated character in himself, yet his actions are ever so captivating (or maybe it's because Jang Geun Suk really really made a superb job for playing this character like what Yoo Ah In did for Moon Jae Shin?).

Not that he's my favourite character in YB too, I like Jeremy better =)

Which reminds me to return to the topic again. Jeremy's appearance in My Girlfriend is a Gumiho's last episode was so surprising and welcoming! =)

Oh yah, Go Mi Nyeo also appear in the drama toom - as the male protagonist, Cha Dae Woong's junior!

Well, but the appearance of these two characters points to one thing - perhaps the drama is trying to catch on to the YB effect in hope of trying to gain more viewership? This is what I feel, personally, a rather unwise move: why include successful characters from past dramas into the new drama? It sort of makes the whole drama appear somewhat lame, like the producers have no confidence that this drama will be able to succeed the YB syndrome.

Whether this tactic can really make the drama more appealing to people, I have no idea (because I didn't really look up the statistics).

Well, in conclusion, this drama's a cute enough drama. with some really good-looking main and side characters. In terms of 搞笑指数, if I say I laughed for YB, for this drama I'll say I smiled. It's not that hilarious, but heartwarming enough to give you a fuzzy feeling, especially whenever it rains in the drama and you see Cha Dae Woong looking at the sky, rushing back to Mi Ho's side because he knows she's crying. You'll have to watch the drama to really understand what I'm talking about though, it's rather intangible.

Of course, there are exceptions, what with the Hong Sisters's script and everything. You have to think twice again if you think this show's safe enough to watch while drinking or eating, because you'll never know when you'll choke or splutter on your drink/food when the drama appears to take quite a normal, seemingly boring turn. Well, don't follow my footsteps though, I choked on my water when I saw the "结婚狂想曲", taking a glance at the computer screen while drinking water from my mug. The hilarious part just come so unexpectedly that I spluttered due to laughing =)

仔细一想，我几乎看完了洪氏姐妹编写的韩剧耶。

《我的女孩》、《豪杰春香》、《幻想情侣》、《都是美男啊》、《我的女友是九尾狐》。

就差一部《快刀洪吉童》了。（不过据说这部戏不是很好看，我也看过简介，对它没什么兴趣，就索性跳过吧！）

每一部我都挺喜欢的，因为全部都是轻松好笑，在内容上不断翻新，突破典型的搞笑诙谐让人忍俊不禁。

《我的女孩》说的是一场因为要找寻失散的亲人而自编自导的骗局，我看的时候是惊喜，心想，怎么会有那么在当时算是“另类”的韩剧？脱离了悲情、拖拖拉拉、主角死到尽头又突然奇迹般复活，然后一直变得更强大，最后终于完成梦想/得到或失去爱情而徒留遗憾的剧情。当然，那种剧情有时也挺吸睛的，因为，这类的剧情总是影射了“人生不可不经历苦难而一帆风顺、其中必然造成或留下遗憾”的人生真实性。

可是看久了，就真的觉得人生好黑暗哦，怎么有那么多挫折，要遇上那么多遗憾呢？
所以，《我的女孩》的无厘头诙谐让我耳目一新，哇，好不容易可以笑个够，剧情又不拖拉，好！

《豪杰春香》在韩国典故中贞烈女子春香等待、守护丈夫的故事上翻出新意，看了让人觉得，原来典故也能那么翻新啊？让我大开眼界，同时又认识韩国文化多一点，当然，也可以开怀笑骂，顺便怀念一下校园的温馨。

《幻想情侣》就颠覆了一个贵妇的形象，当一个贵妇失忆后，又会露出怎样的面貌本性？这部戏，看得我连连喷饭，笑得好畅快哦！

《都是美男啊》则介绍了一个单纯的女孩在复杂的演艺圈求存的故事。我个人认为这个是洪氏姐妹的最佳代表作 =)

《我的女友是九尾狐》 - 看一只让人避之唯恐不及，却可爱到极点的九尾狐如何适应人间吧！

当然，每部戏也不是完全只为搞笑，在笑点背后还是能找到某些意义深刻的道理。

我个人看来，《我的女孩》主旨在于告诉大家谎言的可怕性；《豪杰春香》则说明了把握、珍惜身边人的重要；《幻想情侣》点明了必须积极适应人生中无可避免的意外、挫折的道理；《都是美男啊》搓破了时下青年追星、渴望成名的美丽泡沫，以一种很现实、幽默的手法影射了演艺圈不只是光荣的代称，反而是种束缚的事实；《我的女友是九尾狐》则提醒人们不该对事物断章取义，凡事都应经由本身真正的意识、真正去了解后才作下结论。当然每部剧也不单单只是一两个主题，就像分析文学作品一样，一千位观众眼中便有一千个哈姆雷特，真要慢慢破解，恐怕是说不完的。

好像很沉重哦？可是一边笑，一边看戏，这些道理自然能慢慢接收。

很不错吧？所以，偶像剧、轻松诙谐的喜剧也是可以看出“营养”的哦！虽然比不上什么名著、文学代表作，可是比较生动的情节就是让人耳目一新，不是吗？

sad or...

2011-01-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

I really hate it when people treat me as a spare tyre.

Am I really such an easy pushover that everyone just don't see me as a person who will get hurt?

It doesn't mean that when I cover up with smiles and words like "never mind', I'm not hurt.

So why are some people treating me like something that can be disposed of and something that could be summoned when you need it?

Maybe I just put my trust in the wrong people. Guess maybe because I'm not all that interesting or helpful to you, I got kicked aside.

Is that what I am to you?

And I think you're never going to read this post or figure out that I'm talking about you.

So what's the point anyway?

Grr.

MIschevious Kiss/Playful Kiss

2010-12-31T16:48:00.002+08:00

Moving on to the next Korean Drama.

Mischevious Kiss/Playful Kiss/恶作剧之吻（韩版）

老实说，我本来还不怎么想看这部戏的。我小时候看过日版的、后来也有稍微看一下台版的，剧情来来回回都是那样，讲述一个女孩子追求暗恋的男孩的过程。

看了之后... ... 我挺不舒服的。

这样的戏，好贬低女性尊严哦。一个女生，为了追求喜欢的男生到底能做到什么地步？又需要让自己的世界都围绕着他转吗？为了他天天流泪，还要不断地假装没事，然后被别人讥笑自不量力，但她还是那么勇往直前，不肯放弃。

那个男生又不是说有多好，性格冷漠、怪僻一堆，了不起就是天才一个，样子比较帅而已。每次看到他用那么冷漠、鄙视的眼光看着她，我都好为她心痛哦。

正面来说，这部戏最后男女主角结婚的结局带来的讯息就是——做事要有恒心才能成功、铁棒磨成针、一份努力一份耕耘... ...

反面来说，这部戏就是说明男生的脑子太笨，花了14集（全戏16集哦）才肯承认自己喜欢女主角、女生太顽固，傻的太过头... ...

不过，有几首歌倒是蛮不错的 =）

He's Just Hot

2010-12-21T00:39:00.008+08:00

Reflections from watching Sungkyunkwan Scandal:

1) I finally realised why people like DFSQ (东方神起) now. Well, for one thing, they really are great singers. I have no idea how they made idols in Korea, but somehow Korean stars just seem to be talented in almost all areas like singing, acting, dancing,,, stuff like that. Sigh, this is why so many people are attracted to Kpop I guess! The male protagonist in this show is one of DFSQ's members, well, I can't say I really liked him that much in the show because personally I was more attracted (is 'more' even the appropriate term to use here?) to another guy in the drama, but I am quite convinced that he put up a rather good show. Maybe with time he'll be able to hon his acting skills and put up a better show!

2) “在这个帅哥严重缺乏的时代，好戏的看头就集中在美女了。” This is the conclusion I made from watching dramas nowadays, and, honestly, lots of people will have the same sentiments as I. I am really not a pervert, I mean, just admit it, who doesn't like to look at pretty faces? To those people who firmly believe that girls will never praise other girls for their looks, well, time to wake up. 那种话，是男生为了满足自己的自尊心，故意把女生说得那么小气而捏造的吧？ My point is, the female protagonist is just, simply cute. I have a hard time coming to how she managed to dress up as a guy and not get recognised for who she really was. She is just simply a sweet, pretty, cute girl, how can the the guys not noticed her for what she was? Their brains... oh well, perhaps they made brains like that only in that era. (Actually there's one guywho suspected her identity right from the start, I think in the whole drama he's the only clever guy who ever used his eyes and brains.)

3) 我陷下去了。而这不是一件容易的事，我绝对不是那种这么容易就犯花痴的女生。可是。在这部戏里。我。看到。他。

OMG HE'S JUST SUPER CUTE COOL HOT SWEET HANDSOME (JUST THROW IN ANY ADJECTIVES YOU'LL USED WHEN YOU SEE THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE)...

Moon Jae Shin, the name of the character in the drama. Yoo Ah In, the real name of the actor. Just take a look at him, just look at him. Look at him when his hair's all messy and unkempt, look at him when he dressed up formally, look at him when he talked, look at him when he gazed into the camera (I am still quite rational, of course, I knew he wasn't looking at me, but, oh man, how I wished he was!), look at him when he cried. AND LOOK AT HIM WHEN HE SMILE (OMG AM I BLUSHING NOW)

Okay lah, he's really not the guy who caught my eye initially in the drama (the male antagonist was the one, but after a while under his radiance, well, I threw him to the back of my mind). Well, for one thing, I don't like guys with super untidy hair. For the second thing, I don't like guys with moustaches (whether it's just a few bristles sticking out above the mouth or a whole bunch of black pricky 'needles' convering the whole mouth), I just think moustaches are not my cup of tea, after being pricked by my father's when young whenver he bent down to kiss my cheeks. For the third thing, I, erm, don't really like it when guys bared their chests when they first appear in dramas, because as a rather conservative person, I don't believe in showing off flesh when you appear in front of cameras. Usually guys with ANY ONE of these characteristics are out of my league.

But this guy, I don't really know what happened, he got all three characteristics, but he still seemed awfully great to me. I expected him to be like the normal side characters, the kind who will fall in love with the female lead and end up being in a love triangle, then from which he either chooses the path of taking a step back and letting the couple supposedly so 'meant for each other' to live happily ever after while he gazes at the sky, sighing and thinking, "Just as long as she is happy." or end up being the greatest antagonist and last obstacle the couple have to go through before the normal happy ending by sowing discord, 制造误会、推动情节... (wait a minute, why does that sound so familiar?) along that arduous, winding, or simply, hazardous love path of the star-crossed lovers. Well, to some effect, I am not wrong, I mean, actually I guessed correctly, he's just the side character who's so unlucky to fell in love with the female lead and chose the first path, but, something in the character was just, eye-catching, amazing, wonderful.

Is it the actor? Or is it the character? I do not know. But to really say, well, in terms of looks, he wasn't that bad looking but I will really think that the male antagonist was better by a teeny weeny bit; in terms of the uniqueness of characters, I think Gu Yong Ha is definitely more interesting, he's the character that really livens up the drama and adds all the perks to the script. Moon Jae Shin is the typical hero, what with dressing up in 夜行装, jumping over and running on roof-tops, rescuing the female lead the first time he enters the drama, hiding his sorrows behind the facade of being the most uncontrollable and rebellious scholar at Sungkyunkwan... I mean, all these traits can be observed in some other dramas/novels. But it's really amazing: typical as I think I know where this character's going to head for, how accurately I guessed who Hong Byuk Seo was when he first appeared jumping over roof-tops being chased by a horde of mindless royal guards without ever thinking of looking up at the roof-tops to discover the perfect hiding place for Hong Byuk Seo, the more I looked at this character, the more he comes alive and the more he gets out of stereotypes. Not that the character's fate was not stereotypical enough, but the transformation is just simply amazing.

And I think, analyzing rationally, that this may be the reason why I really 被他煞到了. It's just... wonderful to see such a character/actor combination. The combination is just correct, with the right emotions, right 眼神, right actions. Everything seems so predictable, yet so natural to the character and so captivating to me. And I blissfully become a 花痴 again after so many years.

I let out a little scream almost everytime he makes an appearance in the drama. Tears welled up in my eyes when he cried. My heart thumped when I see that he's in danger. I giggled (somewhat alike to a bimbo, oh no!) when I see him hiccoughed (the character has the habit of hiccuping whenever he's near a girl, a most accurate tell-tale sign by how he recognised the female lead in disguise as a guy and how he almost let this big secret out to his friend Gu Yong Ha). I bit the back of my hand to prevent screaming excitedly when he smiled into the camera, gazing so gently at the female lead. And my heart broke with him when he realised, that the female lead loved not him but the male lead.

Up till now I still can't understand why the female protagonist chose not him but the male lead. Sigh, but I supposed, in a show where a famous Kpop star is in, he will always end up being the male lead regardless of how 木头 I think the character is. (Oops to all DFSQ fans out there I'm not insulting your idol but just commenting about the character only, the character as given to him by the directors/script-writers.)

Ah, and here comes the thing that completes it all - a good show must be accompanied by good OST. Yup, that's where I really started to take note of DFSQ (or more accurately, JYJ) who sang the soundtracks. I have a feeling, that just like that period of time when I was crazy over You're Beautiful I might post all the mvs of the soundtrackc on my blog again. After all, great things are meant to be shared =)

If any of you do not have any idea what I was writing about after this long post which kept me awake at this crazy hour, just go take a look at this drama: Sungkyunkwan Scandal, or 成均馆绯闻 =)

Good Night (or morning?)!

Post 2:

Here comes the first MV... not an OST though, but just a fanmade video of Moon Jae Shin. Whoever made this video, I thank him/her from the deepest of my heart =)

The second MV, a cute one. Look at his hiccups! Oh by the way the guy who keeps on hugging him is Gu Yong Ha, his friend.

Ha here's some more fanmade videos of super good quality to show Moon Jae Shin and his affection for the female lead again. Ah why didn't she chose him!

This is an MV with a song I like very much - "If" by Taeyeon. Sighs. If, if, if... if it's the both of them together the drama will be complete!

“如果努力试着忘记，试久了也就能变成习惯了。”

这句话画下了两人之间可能开始的恋情的句点，听到这样的话，我差点就心碎了。

“如果是我喜欢的人，我就会把握机会得到她！”
具容华说得对，文在信从一开始就太过小心翼翼了，那么珍惜、那么保护、那么呵护着金允熙，始终不敢大胆的示爱，这是他败给李先埈的理由！

对于一个向来冲动行事、被称为“桀骜”的人，却能够那么温柔的注视着心爱的人，不敢唐突佳人，他的情意可是让众人看得清清楚楚的！可惜，到最后金允熙始终都不知道，那个在暗地里照顾着她、守护着她的人是谁。

那一声一声的“师兄”，应该是桀骜心里深处最难承受的痛吧！在他还来不及察觉之前，还来不及试图扭转他们三人的命运之前，他的情意注定不会被接受，那个心爱的女孩，最多，也只能回应他一声“师兄”。以那么灿烂的笑脸对着他，他又怎么忍心破坏这个笑容，为她再添麻烦呢？

只能，退步，让她寻找想要的怀抱...

唉。这样被KO掉的男配角比比皆是，可是我却独为他感到悲伤。因为演得太棒了，桀骜的感情含蓄内敛，只通过那么几个珍贵的动作表现出，比起大声说爱的男主角，这样的感情诠释更牵动心弦。

真是的，为什么导演给他和女主角的感情戏份就那么少？！

Let's just end off with a lighter note of another cute Jaehee MV!

Post 3:

It's amazing though, in this drama I like all the side characters instead of the main protagonists...
Well, tribute to Gu Yong Ha!
He's really... funny and amusing and really the perks of the drama!

Okay, here comes the OST!

Found You -JYJ

Too Love - Junsu
Nice voice... Together with Moon Jae Shin... Well, it's perfect!

For You It's Separation, To Me It's Waiting - Jaejoong
I really do think that this song fits Moon Jae Shin better, though...

Drawing You - Yun Jung

I can't find any decent MVs with nice subtitles for the rest of the songs, though.

Post 4:

Before starting on my next kdrama reflection, I'll just end off with another OST from Sungkyunkwan Scandal - again!

Sad To Say - Kim Dong Wook

我心里的爱情是蓝色的
就像闪耀的星光睡去的那个深夜
又哭又笑的下定决心
我爱的就是妳

当我又想想自己
我将妳推到下一步
头脑明明知道这才是正确的路
我破碎的心却像是已经迷了路

就像是水里流淌的水一样
我的爱情就是妳
就算要用什么代价也好就算只是贪念也好
我也不曾用指尖盼望过妳

就像是梦想在街角堆积着
褪色的回忆也在我的心里积累着
随着时间流逝就算泪水都干了
爱情依然流淌着

渐渐变红的彩霞
再也压制不住那黑夜
也请妳不要再爱情里犹豫
请妳想想自己

再将我推到下一步
听听妳心里的话
究竟妳爱的是谁
那个人并不是我

就像是水里流淌的水一样
我的爱情就是妳
就算要用什么代价也好就算只是贪念也好

我也不曾用指尖盼望过妳

就像是梦想在街角堆积着
褪色的回忆也在我的心里积累着
随着时间流逝就算泪水都干了
爱情依然流淌着

因为美丽的时间太短
我们的爱情只有可惜
我们的爱情太小我们的爱情不够深刻
结果连后悔也没得后悔

我带着悲伤的泪水等待着
为了可能会心痛的妳
让我独自流泪吧
让妳能够休息
只要妳能够幸福就好

看中文歌词真的比较有感觉。
嗯，所以，为什么会选这首歌呢？

啊哦，绝对不是因为我一听到这首充满男人味的歌就想到了戏里面的某某哦，这么花痴的事，我做不出来哦... ...

啊，算了啦，还是承认的好。会喜欢这首歌，起初是因为当时Windows Media Player 被‘卡’住了，刚好就播到这一首，然后就一直重复的听着听着，接着就喜欢了。

后来，越听才觉得这首歌很适合文在信。其实，这首歌根本就是他的独白嘛！找到中文歌词时，我一边听，一边看歌词，一边想起戏里的情节，眼泪都差点流下来了。唉~

很喜欢第一句‘我心里的爱情是蓝色的/就像闪耀的星光睡去的那个深夜’，很优美，却又充满着悲伤。

也是啦，毕竟，在现实生活中，所有美丽的事物总有让人悲伤的一面。要不，怎能让人印象深刻？没有遗憾的美丽，只有在童话中才会出现，但是，我们却是生活在现实里。

或许，这就是世界运转的道理吧——让人们只得到有着遗憾的美！

happy!

2010-12-15T23:16:00.001+08:00

I thought I screwed up my MOE teaching Attachment Programme Interview.

But I didn't!!!!!!!

Yay!!!!!

I GOT SELECTED!!!!!

=)))))))

为什么呢？

2010-12-12T16:19:00.001+08:00

自卑、自怜、自哀、自悼。
这好像成了我生活中的一部分。

到底该怎么办，才能让这些糟糕的感觉不在我脑海里打转？

为什么？
这些情绪我并不陌生，可是十八年后的今天，我还是在为它们烦恼。

真是的。
没能抛开这些可恨的情绪，哪里还能向往所谓的“更美好的明天”？
最可悲的是，我明明知道解决问题的方法，却总是没有勇气踏出第一步。
时间拖得越久，这些伤口就会越深，这我也很清楚。

可是。。。
算了，要改变现状，哪里有什么“可是”？所谓的“可是”，不过是借口罢了。

你这个胆小鬼，为什么总是如此，只要失败了一次就真得再也站不起来？

shopping/prom

2010-12-06T00:54:00.002+08:00

Hectic.

I never expected to use this word to describe me life after the A levels.

But sadly, it's the truth.

Shopping for prom stuff day in and day out, oh my god my legs can totally break after 4 days of shopping.

Thankfully I managed to get everything ready.

当看着我身上的赘肉时，我真的很想哭。

唉。

真的希望有朝一日，我可以坦荡荡的 “面对它、承认它、接受它、放下它”。

但愿。

Last Post until the end of A levels

2010-10-09T22:39:00.002+08:00

好像中暑了。

一天到晚头痛到不行，复习进度大大落后。=（

Bye Blogger.
This shall be my last post, until the A levels ended.

彻底一点吧

2010-10-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

我又去看了。

算了吧，用一把刀插进心窝三寸和穿透整个心窝，似乎没什么差别。

反正都是一样。

痛死了。

冷静下来一点，才发现自己也是错的。如果自己积极一点，不那么被动，或许就没有现在的那么痛苦或遗憾了。

一定要记得，祸源起于自己，不是别人，所以，不能责怪自己以外的人。
还是实际一点，改过后就向前看吧！

对不起，那些我曾在心里默默咒骂的人。不管你们知不知道，我都有这个责任向你们道歉，毕竟是我自己的失误，而错根本不在你们身上，我只是，太过失望冲动了。

对不起。很诚心的向你们道歉。

也对不起，林欣萤。

Irritated

2010-10-07T18:44:00.003+08:00

I wanted to cry so much for a stupid reason.

Oh man why did this happen to me.

I am just short of one criteria to get that thing. Everything is just so silly and unfair.

WHY

WHY

WHY

Oh fine just ignore me I am just too disappointed to say anything.

改变心态

2010-10-01T18:56:00.003+08:00

改正心态。

这绝对是我现在要做的事。

茶馆，我来了。

以下这首歌，献给跟我一样或难过、或沮丧的人们吧！让我们去相信，一定能够看到“晴空布幔拉齐”的那天，好吗？

歌曲：相信
歌手：苏打绿专辑：无与伦比的美丽

我会永远相信最后一片落叶

无论什麽世界东风藏在眉心
我会永远相信扎入心的水滴
在另一个世界晴空布幔拉起

总是得到很多多到麻木自我
竟然差一点就忘记
手掌里要有更多呼吸

曾经失去很多多到放弃自我
黄昏最后一盏灯亮起
来得及撑开眼睛

地球偶尔太大去练习
沙滩上海浪留下痕迹
剩下心和自己有时太安静
自己都不敢看自己

我会永远相信最后一片落叶
无论什麽世界东风藏在眉心
我会永远相信扎入心的水滴
在另一个世界晴空布幔拉起

只带着皮箱流浪
装着自己的灵魂
背对着那个人怎麽想
张开翅膀飞翔

我会永远相信开始掉下的泪
你和我的世界痛褪去更清晰
我会永远相信不完美的完美
不管什麽世界距离不是距离

我会永远相信最后一片落叶
无论什麽世界东风藏在眉心
我会永远相信扎入心的水滴
在另一个世界晴空布幔拉起

我会永远相信开始掉下的泪
你和我的世界痛褪去更清晰
我会永远相信不完美的完美
不管什麽世界距离不是距离

Horrification

2010-09-27T19:31:00.003+08:00

Horrifi-cation.

Great word to describe what I feel after receiving the GP Paper 2 results.
Stunned. Stumped.
And Mengfei was just reading the line “淌血的心，把人类思绪一口吃掉”。

How coincident.

Oh my god what happened! To think I was still feeling "okay" after the paper.

Horrible.

Prelims' over

2010-09-24T22:13:00.002+08:00

Prelims are over!

But my revision is not.

Already starting a new round of revision. I finished the Bio Revision Booklet for revision Lecture 1, it's hard =(

Reflections:

GP -
Paper 1 让我赚到了！I was just reading one of the sample essays the night before and copied down the topic sentences and relevant examples, when that question came out. Hopefully I addressed the constant correctly! Paper 2 was rather wasted though, I couldn't managed to finish my AQ, which is supposed to be easier (as I heard?) than the other components.

CLL -
作文写得满顺畅的，就希望——不要离题！应该也离不了吧，都把整个题目抄下来还引用在作文里了。写得是一对有关双胞胎姐妹的故事，这是我一直都很喜欢的题材=）古文考了《醉翁亭记》和《岳阳楼记》（不大记得了，好像是这两篇）。好在我坚持把全部古文都读完一遍，呼！读得很痛苦，可是，是值得的。理解问答，照样读到一半就头昏眼花，跟统测二的情况有得比，填充好像错了两题。试卷二我觉得还好，败笔——《茶馆》。天啊，我才写了一面纸——陈老师一定会对我很失望=（就好像我跟梦飞他们说的一样，我这次真的把“一切”都“奉献”给了方老师——因为我的《雪山》和《韵文》部分平均写得最多。任老师的部分还好——吧？

到最后，我想这次的考试应该是不能达到我的目标了=（

Math-
3 letters -OMG. Ah it's terrible - even if I tried not to admit it. I aim for 60/100 for both papers, but I think... if I can get like 50/100 for both papers 就要笑了。I tried very hard not to make any careless mistakes for the earlier questions in Paper 1 (at least for those I know how to do), and couldn't finish the last 2 questions, and there goes 26 marks. It's especially painful when you know that, you know how to do but you don't have the time to complete. Urgh. Paper 2 I tried the reverse - I ran through the whole paper but couldn't have time to go back and finish the unanswered questions earlier. AH!

Chem-
I don't want to disappoint Mr Loy anymore! After all the effort he put in to revise so much for us! I think all the remedial people under him have the same sentiments too =) Paper 3 was, not very challenging in terms of complexity of questions, but in terms of time limit. I couldn't finished! =( Hopefully I still can pass-with-a-bit-more-marks. Paper 2 was quite manageable - until that stupid inorganic chem question. I got stumped by the grey-green precipitate - how the hell am I supposed to know that it's Cr(OH)3? (Okay lah, rightfully I'm supposed to know =/ I think I just never revise enough =/) Paper 1 was today - haha Mengfei and I were like super happy because it's the last paper for prelims. Heh and I 赚到 again! Some of the questions were repeated from 08/09 HCI Prelims Paper 1 or 09 RJ Prelims Paper 1 - I couldn't really remember though. I want to get better grades for Chem this time!

Bio-
I tried to finish memorising all the core syllabus chapters before Paper 2 - but I failed. Mismanagement because I forgot to count in D&E which can just take up one whole day by itself alone =/ Ah anyway Bio is like, Physics in Secondary school for me - either you know how to do but can't finish in time, or you don't know how to do so can only leave blanks. Urgh actually that's what happen for whatever exams you take, regardless of subjects, just that I am able to draw horrifying parallels between Bio in JC and Physics in Secondary school - which is definitely bad. Paper 3, was, as I told someone (I couldn't remember who) "no need to study" - because I don''t see any difference it makes whether I studied for it or not. Okay lah, in a sadistic sense, there's a difference - whether you get a low U or an even lower U. Urgh. But I was quite happy for Paper 1! Mainly because I got a lot of similar answers with Mengfei the bio pro =) This shows I have a higher chance of scoring better for Paper 1!

Overall, I hope to get better results for my Prelims than BT2. *Cross fingers*

Jiayou to all the people out there who haven't finished their Prelims yet! Yuheng must jiayou and thanks thanks thanks for all the encouragement messages you sent me - we must keep up our encouragment-messages-system!

And Mengfei I think one idiom suits your predicamenr today very much: "Look before you leap/hop (in the sense, like, hop onto a b_s)". You should know what I'm talking about and I think Charmaine knows very well too! 不过，毕竟也是“功德无量”的一件好事，阿弥陀佛，你一定会，嗯，有福报的。

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU I MUST REVISE MORE!

Screwed

2010-09-11T18:11:00.002+08:00

Take a deep breath.

Calm down.

You can do it.

大难临头

2010-09-04T12:38:00.002+08:00

Just finished crafting my CCA Testimonial.

OMG I don't think mine looks impressive at all. An inspection of my CCA Testimonial will reveal that, hey, this student here is actually just crapping whatever she can for her poor CCA records.

No leadership (GSC subject rep, in charge of 8 people? it'a a bit miserable isn't it?), no achievements (erm if you count getting participation for some zuowen competition thing last year? or Scrabble competition for library week this year? oh my gosh I don't even dare to think).

Ah sighs and my only SL project is not being confirmed. Since last year, urgh!

也有一种大难临头的感觉。
好像要感冒了，整天打喷嚏打个不停。

AH I HECK CARE.

Photo taking!

2010-08-27T21:43:00.005+08:00

Quite a lot of photo-taking has been taking place these few days.

Hmm. Don't know what to say.

The rush for the photo-taking with teachers makes me realised that, hey, I'm really going to graduate soon.

This thought makes me feel rather sad.

从来没想过，会有这样的感觉。

一直以来，在班上，我若说我是第二个最安静的同学应该没人会说他/她是第一个最安静的同学。所以，一直以为对这个班、对这个学校的感情不是很深，至少，没有像离开中学时的那般刻骨铭心。

一直以来，跟班上的同学们都只维持着淡淡的交情，“君子之交淡如水”这句话，我奉行得满彻底的。一直以来，微笑点头，不多说、也不是很积极地参与班上的活动，甚至有时候会有一种错觉，觉得这班上、这校园有我没我都没差。

当然，这也符合我的理念——当个小人物。很奇怪吧？在每个人都想抢着出头，抢着当上夜空里最皎洁的月亮时，我却只愿做浩瀚天空里的一颗星子。毕竟，如果没有所谓的“众星拱月”，哪来的最明亮的月光？所以，我只要守本分，做好自己想做，做好自己应该做的事就好了。

也不知怎么的，写这篇日记让我感觉，嗯，怪怪的。

才发现，错了。

不知是谁说过的，与人的交际就像下棋一样。当对手在感情的棋盘上每下一粒白子，你也会毫无意识的下一粒应对的黑子。

等到一盘棋局结束，才会发现，自己已深入其中，难以自拔。

我跟72班的感情，真得没有肉麻到所谓的“深入其中，难以自拔”。

但何时，在接近曲终人散，准备抽身离开时，也发现自己会依依不舍，会留恋地，回看过去的日子呢？

一年近九个月，这段日子，必须很坦白的说，我酸甜苦辣全尝过。因为敏感的心性，因为不同的喜好，因为不同的步伐，我总是有一种患得患失的感觉。

也曾心酸埋怨过。
也曾无助哭泣过。
也曾经想过，就直接放弃何必自找苦？两年七百三十个日子，眨眼就过，何必痛苦，执着？

但也曾真心赞美过。
但也曾畅怀欢笑过。
但也曾经想过，坚持下去会是怎样情景？十七十八岁灿烂年纪，转瞬而逝，何必痛苦，执着？

最终，仍是过不了自己的那一关。
最终，预料将带着一些遗憾离去。

但我不会忘记。但我，无法忘记。

一起走过的这段路，我会放在回忆里，好好珍惜，慢慢回味。

就是这样了。

=）

Ming Boggling

2010-08-22T20:45:00.002+08:00

I have a super big headache yesterday, for the whole day.

At night it was even worst, I practicallly couldn't think at all. Luckily I finished my chem remedial homework in the afternoon.

Sigh. Shall stop crapping.

Eukaryotic Genome, 等等我，我来了!

喊

2010-08-05T21:24:00.004+08:00

有时我真不知道该怎么办。生活中似乎只剩下两个字眼。

好累、好累、好累。
但我要撑下去，一定要。

望着一片落叶缓缓飘落我的掌心。
在落叶接触我掌心的那一刻，突然有种想哭的欲望。

这就是我吧，感性、敏感、彷徨。

能说什么呢？当世界已经不再由彩色组织，被一片灰暗笼罩时？

该长大了，该前进了。

该清醒了。

***

National Day celebrations were, hmm, fun?

No matter what it's still necessary to thank the student councillors for tyring to make it fun =)

Sigh. There's only 7 people who came from our class. 5 guys, 2 girls. Mr Loy kept looking at the direction of our class bench during assembly. Guess he was hoping for more people to come, but his hopes were dashed.

Sigh. After assembly he was like asking me, “其他人呢? 去表演啊? 在家里读书啊?!”

Gosh! And I could only 干笑/苦笑。

What else is there to do? Because people have different priorities. I admit, I wanted to pon school today too, but after seeing Mr Loy's reactions... I think I made the correct choice to come school. It's only 3 hours of schooltime anyway, I'm sure people who didn't come might have just slept this three hours away. Nevertheless, well, there might be people doing productive work, who knows?

We went to the hall and sat down to the performances. The only item which I was really paying full attention was of course, Harmonica Band =)

Their performance should be counted as, well, not bad for a start for their batch?

凡是总有起头，无论如何，继续加油！我们也曾像你们一样，还不是走了过来？缓步前进，也能走到终点。

It will be unfair for me to comment on the rest of the items since I wasn't paying full attention.

Oh wells, so that's that!

Till next time we meet again =)

***

I know I have the potential to be what I dreamt of.
It's not going to be a dream, it's a reality to be achieved, and

I WILL DO IT.

Test Schedule

2010-07-30T18:37:00.002+08:00

02/08/10 Monday

1. Chemistry Class Test:
Mole Concept calculations, Oxidation numbers and electrons transfer calculations, Dot & Cross, Explain melting point and boiling point differences between compunds, Explain differences in BE, eg F-F, Cl-Cl

2. CLL Lecture Test:
《雪山飞狐》艺术特色、《茶馆》第三幕，人物，语言、《命运的迹线》

04/08/10 Wednesday

1. Biology Lecture Test:
ISC1, ISC2, Applications of Molecular Cell Biology, Planning Question

06/08/10 Friday

1. CLL Class Test:
《最宝贵的》

12/08/10 Thursday

1. Chemistry Class Test:
Chemical Periodicity, Group II, Group VII, Transition Elements

18/08/10 Wednesday

1. CLL Class Test:
《六国论》、《先秦寓言》

挫败

2010-07-26T18:27:00.005+08:00

有一种窒息的感觉。

该怎么办？

这么久了，还是这样的成绩。

怎么考上大学？

唉。

要乐观点。要坚持下去。绝对不能倒下，绝对。

记得自己发过的毒誓呵！

好吧，来点情块地歌扫除现在的阴霾 (kindly ignore the parts that sounds like love relationship)：

明天是晴天 - JS

再见失眠的房间

关掉伤感的音乐
打包过去对你一厢情愿的想念

今天虽然是阴天

我有我的CD和球鞋
陪我出发离开昨天

回忆就像二轮影片映在海边
那消逝的感觉再过瘾一遍

未来的世界像一场冒险
当海风那样味道新鲜
无人的公路不觉得孤独
大胆加速畅快直接

我不会改变我不会挂念
等待乌云散进风里面
明天是晴天

阳光穿过了发线

呼吸自由的感觉
耳边播送著让心情起飞的音乐

虽然偶尔会发现

我们一起走过的情节
还在城市某处上演

想跟过去说声再见
那些遗憾像褪色的照片
全还给昨天

未来的世界像一场冒险
当海风那样味道新鲜
无人的公路不觉得孤独
大胆加速畅快直接

我不会改变我不会挂念
等待乌云散进风里面
明天是晴天

多遥远多辽阔
此刻你和我拥抱不同天空
虽然说偶尔会寂寞
这样的勇敢才像我

未来的世界像一场冒险
当海风那样味道新鲜
无人的公路不觉得孤独
大胆加速畅快直接

我不会改变我不会挂念
等待乌云散进风里面
明天是晴天

未来的世界像一场冒险
当海风那样味道新鲜
无人的公路不觉得孤独
大胆加速畅快直接

我不会改变我不会挂念
等待乌云散进风里面
明天是晴天

等待乌云散进风里面
明天是晴天

GP file organisation

2010-07-19T20:17:00.003+08:00

I feel very 挫败 whenever I looked at my GP file.

I have never really know how to organise it.

For the other subjects, since J1 I have devised at least 2-3 ways of orgainising it.

Eww. What's the difference between an exercise and an assignment?!

Whirlpool of stuff going round and round my head.

二姐, you owe me big time!

Birthday wishes.

2010-07-18T12:59:00.002+08:00

I enjoyed my birthday a lot a lot =)

Thanks to those who helped make it a success - you know who you are.

I apologised for not being in the most suitable mood to elaborate about it now.

Yup, thanks.

It's crazy to get mad over some stuff, someone, some old topics. Why should I even care now, after so many rounds of repeating the same old conflict? But it hurts when you hear stuff like that. From the way I see it, you seem to think I'm completely useless. Wow, great, thanks.

Block Test 2 plus sentiments

2010-07-09T23:22:00.003+08:00

It's bad.

Block Test 2 is totally an atrocious nightmare.

GP Paper 1 - I used examples! Which is a rare case. Doing the GP TIME wordbank really does help to increase your general knowledge!

GP Paper 2 - Stunned by the AQ. I was desperate enough to use my knowledge of 唐诗 in an English paper - which I guess, spells doom for me.

CLL Paper 1 - I wrote so much for my composition that I don't have enough time for the rest of the questions, and I think I was being a tad too truthful in my composition for my own good, hope 陈老师 doesn't have any comments on the stuff I wrote =( And I was having a terrible headache that time. Wanted to vomit but I managed to drive down the urge. The comprehensions are, well, to sum up in one word, incomprehensible.

Chen Paper 3 - Nightmare. I think Mr Loy's horrified by my poor exam tactics. Up till now I still don't understand why I never complte the Organic Chem Questions at the back first. It's the predominant reason why I failed that paper. I cried when I saw his sms about me failing the paper =(

CLL Paper 2 - Oh my God my handwriting's unreadable even by me. I can only hope 方老师 to be kind enough not to say anything about my handwriting when he give out our scripts in the usual mass session. And, I didn't complete 雪山 essay again =(

Bio Paper 2 - I walked away with a rather numb feeling. People around me were checking answers here and there, saying that the paper was hard and stuff, but I guess I was too numb to say anything. Numb to what, you may ask? Well, numb to the usual feeling of failing and getting depressed for Bio that I wasn't even feeling depressed about failing Bio already. It's definitely a bad thing to be like this. A SUPER BAD THING.

Maths Paper - I didn't expect this to be my pitfall. Seriously I thought I will do better this time than BT1, but things happened. Just at the last moment I discovered that my EZ-link card wasn't with me - and being the kancheong queen, I panicked - I got flustered - I couldn't calm down during the paper - and I died. But face up, this is definitely no excuse. If I had practised harder I should be able to do math even if I'm flustered. 当你练习到极致时，你完全不用脑袋来想，就可以凭手麻木的写出那些复杂的方程式。 So what does my results show again? Lack of practice and not enough effort being put in?

Chem Paper 1 & 2 - My last chance to prove that I really did revise for Chem. (In fact, I revised the most for Chem, just ask Yiling/Jessica who almost always see me with my Chem file in the June Hols) I didn't face much difficulty in doing Paper 1, but for Paper 2, urgh! I'm disgusted by myself again. I did the same stupid mistake of not answering the Organic Chem questions at the back again! And because of that I think I'm gonna fail for my overall Chem BT2.

Bio Paper 3 - I drew mindmaps, I made summaries, I practised and timed myself for the Planning Questions Exercises, I practically wrote out my whole notes for ISC 1 - and yet I think I'll die. The structured got me stunned: "What is the kind of inheritance shown for this disease?" My answer: " It is recessive and not sex-linked." which is wrong bacuase the real answer is supposed to be "Autosomal dominant". Yiling and I were hoping secretly that the teachers will give us half a mark for our "not sex-linked" part, but I serously don't think this is ever going to happen =( Sorry friend I think we need to be realistic...

Bio paper 1 - My first few answers are not the same with Mengfei's answers which just simply suggests that thatere's something terribly wrong. I didn't realy dare to think of what are the answers at the back but bracing myself from a whirlpool of terror and some sadistic anticipation (Mengfei you didn't realised that I was scared right, because I was hiding my terror by keep on saying "Aiyah I don't care". Actually, I do care...), I finished checking answers with her. And oh my goodness, I not only discovered that I answered some parts wrongly but also realised I answered the questions carelessly - I mean, when the question is asking you to give a "false" answer but you shade the option saying the "true" answer even though you've already selected the correct answer previously, what is ihis?

It's just a nightmare, a nightmare that I difinitely don't want to appear for my Prelims or *gulps* A levels. I'm really trying to work very very hard already and I hope this really helps.

***

今天，跟妈妈发牢骚。我把憋在心底许久的话都倾泻而出，然后妈妈去睡觉后，就大哭了一场。为自己哭，为所意识到的事情而哭，为这个世界而哭。

存在主义，绝对是我最真实的写照。

我越是长大，就越是发现我更不了解周遭的一切。一切现存的人、事、物完全颠覆了我对这个世界的看法。

我喜欢安静，总是笑笑着看着周遭的事情，并不代表我不会受伤害。
我喜欢孤独，因为一个人的世界里，我是自由的，我能够飞翔万里，但这并不表示我不渴望有人陪伴着的温暖。
我喜欢诚实，但依我妈妈的一句话来说，在这个变态的世界里，人们早就已经变态了，哪会再顾及别人？而诚实，只能吃亏。

我很努力尝试让自己真的做到表里合一，但我想在他人眼里，这反而让我变成一个不折不扣的怪胎。真实不好吗？人们为什么要隐瞒自己的情绪？为什么这世上的人都需要这么虚假？难道，就不可以单纯一点吗？总是在算计些什么，总是摆布他人，总是笑里藏刀 —— 这些就是我们存在的目的吗？

妈妈说，人生如戏，这世界的人啊，其实都是在演戏而已。

我不愿相信这是真的，固执地认为这世上一定还有什么纯真的事物值得我们去期待，去守护，去拥有。这个信念，我不想、不愿、不会改。就算会因此受伤害，我想我还是会一直守护这个信念。

总有一天，会有人了解的。

但愿。

harmoc section 1 JTS!

2010-06-21T22:04:00.013+08:00

I am very happy today!

Harmoc section 1 JTS is fun, fun and fun!

Though we didn't do a lot of things actually.

Louisa + Hwee Ming = Epic + Hilarious = Entertainment for everyone =)

Oh my god the things they do made me have two reactions:
1) Pretend I don't know them.2) Laugh my head off silly.
I chose the second option though =)I wonder if this is the trait of Section 1 SLs =)

It will really be more fun, if the prospect of the looming BT2 doesn't pop out in my head so often when I was out with them. Sigh. But the section 1 juniors are really very sweet! They gave us presents, Hwee Ming gave me a figurine with my initials and Tuo Tuo gave me this Pluto soft toy.

In actual fact I'm not the kind of girls who like soft toys, but still, it's nice to have a few soft toys every now and then. Especially cute ones!

I met Yanjie at Bugis MRT station too, she told me she was studying at the National Library. I have no idea how, but to me she always look like a pretty doll regardless of how she dress. I wonder how she does it =)

Jiayou friends, we must work hard for BT2!

(*reply to Hwee Ming's card: Actually, how do you think I can forget you? I see you everyday at class bench! Plus your relationship is Mengfei is really too memorable, I don't think I can ever forget that episode! It shall be the second most memorable memory of Hwa Chong I ever have! The first is, of course, that time during PW when Shenyi chased this particular PW group mate of mine around the LEP room with a needle and a thread, vowing to sew his mouth up! I think Huilin and I will never ever forget that scene, it was just... SPECTACULAR!)

Haha, now for the cute pictures of my presents!Hwee Ming's present to me! (Sorry the resolution is not very clear because I used my phone to take)
And say hi to my Pluto!
Pluto is trying to "Think about China".
Pluto is staring at my BT2 time table =(
Pluto 也被CLL唐诗搞得晕头转向。Pluto staring out of thirst at my mug - my favourite mug, a birthday gift from my beloved yuheng. Hey hey the water is for me to drink not you! See the "Danger" sign? It's "Danger" for you (but not for me)!
Pluto staring at Hwee Ming's present - or are you staring at the 《锦瑟》 notes in the file？

And Pluto again!

Now what?

2010-06-18T01:51:00.002+08:00

I finished my time tunnel including the 3 R&R questions.

I did like what Yiling told me last time, to just push on and complete the time magazine word bank - but I've about 6 of them left which I absolutely have no desire to do anymore.

I have a chemistry test and a GP essay(gulps - that sms spoiled my whole afternoon) today at 8 am and 10 am which I had not studied at all.

My eyes are super sore and I feel extremely tired.

BUT I THINK I SHOULD NOT SLEEP. OR I'LL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH WHEN I GET BACK MY GP ESSAY NEXT THURSDAY.

OR IS IT THE OPPOSITE?

I HAVE NO IDEA.

Sigh, chlorides and Group II metals, here I come.

Wait, perhaps, I should take a nap first before I start to read you.

OMG why do we need to do calculations for chemical equilibria too?

美丽的一天

2010-06-12T21:08:00.003+08:00

今天的我，很快乐。

今天，是为Boe庆祝生日，可是我相信每个人都获得同样的满足感。

看到好久不见的朋友，心中的愉悦真的无法比喻。就五个人，Boe、伊苓、颂雅、佳俐和我，度过了一个很愉快的生日庆祝会。

五个女生的相聚、五个女生的回忆、五个女生的叙旧，足够让我快乐上一天。伊苓精打细算，按着手机计算的样子；Boe看见动物被困在笼中时轻皱额头的神情；颂雅安然淡定，带领我们穿梭人群的认真表情；佳俐脸上爽朗的笑意跟那一头随时可以去拍洗发水广告的长发在我面前晃动的弧度；这些画面，不停在我的脑海来回反复重播着。刹那间，就有那一种感动，想要释放自己的情绪，想要拥抱她们，感谢她们：谢谢你们依然如故，谢谢你们不曾改变。

岁月不饶人，当时间沙漏里的碎沙一滴一滴往下掉时，岂有人不会因为岁月的催促而改变？可是，当我们聚在一起时，我仍然感到跟以往一样的开心、向往。我们展现的笑容都是那么真诚无伪，仿佛时间回到了最初的那一刻。我们待人处世的方式或许更成熟了，但在望着彼此眼眸深处的那一刻，我仍看到了当初那一抹纯挚、朴实的灵魂。这种感觉，多么美好，真的是，难以用笔墨形容。

发自内心的快乐，其实可以这么简单。谢谢你们，给了我那么美好的一天。谢谢你们，让我有机会回到当初那个纯朴的我。谢谢你们，让我可以开怀大笑，找回那份放手捕捉风中落叶的勇气。谢谢你们，陪我牵手走在沙滩边，感受脚边海浪的拍打。那留在沙滩地上的脚印，或许会被海水冲淡，但在我的回忆里却是留下了永恒的痕迹。

伊苓，你相机里的照片，一定要快点洗出来哦！因为那些相片里，绝对有我最最真诚快乐的笑容，不管头发是不是被风吹乱的，不管手中是不是拿着装着垃圾的蛋糕盒，那些相片里一定有我最好看的时刻。

(附带一提：伊苓，你今天跟佳俐真的Camwhore过头了啦！我跟颂雅、Boe跟在你们后面都只能望尘莫及=X）

好吧，现在来介绍几首我听了很有感觉的歌曲:

郭静 - 嫁妆
这首歌献给我最亲爱的家人和朋友！跟范玮琪“一个像夏天，一个像秋天” 很异曲同工的一首歌！

除了恋爱我们还幸运的拥有
和好朋友聊情人的快乐
讲另一半可爱地做了些什么
总让幸福又甜蜜了许多

我们在上一辈子一定是情人
才有这么有默契的灵魂
我爱的他偶尔还把你当敌人
吃醋的天真让我笑出声

你是司机当我迷失方向
你是医生当爱让我重伤
你变乌鸦阻挡我太冲动危险的飞翔

你是白痴陪着我讲梦话
你是先知我心魔被解放
你是嫁妆是我最宝贝的收藏
你不点头的男人我不嫁
我是嫁妆请把我带在你身旁
嫌我吵的男人最好别嫁

洪俊扬 - Guardian Angel

这首歌我找了很久很久，大概有四年了吧？不过，好歌是值得等待的！这首歌，我很喜欢很喜欢，是非常非常感人的歌，听完之后入股额还是一点感触都没有的人还真是有些冷静（还是冷血吧？）过了头... ...

是否记得初次相遇的情景
从起初纷飞的那刻起我的爱已写满你的名
是否记得守护天使的游戏
从我抽到你的卡片起不再是一个人的回忆

或许未来有快乐也有艰辛
我会把你紧抱在怀里永远不让你为爱哭泣

如果天空只剩最后一颗闪烁的星
我会让它为你照亮孤寂让幸福为你指引
总有一天你会看到 Guardian Angel 降临
那是我的心一直在守护着你
爱是我们唯一的约定

是否记得守护天使的游戏
从我抽到你的卡片起不再是一个人的回忆

或许未来有快乐也有艰辛
我会把你紧抱在怀里永远不让你为爱哭泣

如果天空只剩最后一颗闪烁的星
我会让它为你照亮孤寂让幸福为你指引
总有一天你会看到 Guardian Angel 降临
那是我的心一直在守护着你
爱是我们唯一的约定

如果天空只剩最后一颗闪烁的星
我会让它为你照亮孤寂让幸福为你指引
总有一天你会看到 Guardian Angel 降临
那是我的心一直在守护着你
天使它一定能够感应

ray of sunshine?

2010-06-08T22:54:00.002+08:00

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

Haha I think Mengfei should know what the lyrics meant for her very well =)

Organic chem, I'm at you since last friday, why am I still at you now?

Time to move on.

Oh die I'm running out of time.

Windworks'10: REWIND

2010-06-02T18:48:00.003+08:00

Windworks'10: REWIND

I think Mengfei and I couldn't find another better word to describe this year's concert other then 'REWIND'.

"Then we carried chairs and all the things we need to the drame centre from the music room at college side. I seriously think the drama centre should have more chairs though. It's really tiring to carry the chairs and stands plus bags all the way from the music room to drama centre under the hot, blazing sun :("

"Mengfei and I, seeing that we only have 15 minutes chiong immediately to the SALT centre to bath. We only spent 5 minutes in shower. Then both of us came out of the cubicles with dripping and messy hair, even more flustered than before. If you're in the girls' toilet then, you'll see two mad people trying to cram thier heads under the 烘干机 in a desperate attempt to dry their hair(s). Mengfei was like complaining that her hair seems to be 'chaou tah'. In the end I think we didn't really have time enough to dry our hair and tie it back properly, so we just ran back to the drama centre with unkempt appearances but we couldn't care less because we thought we're late."

What happened last year happened again. Rewind, you get it? But change the time to evening at 5 pm, and you'll know what both of us did for Harmoc concert this year.

The ever familiar SALT centre toilet with it's spoilt mirror and hand-dryer. Well, at least next year we shouldn't be so hectic =)

***

I really put in super duper a lot of effort for this year's concert.

Windworks'10.

Like a balloon, now that everything is over, I am deflated and left with only the skin. There are uber scary moments during the concert rehearsals and the concert itself, but in any case, I am glad that we manage to make everything work out in the end.

Hard feelings, quarrels, nasty comments, unhappiness and all the vexing moments, let's put all these aside now that it's over, can we?

I really like my Harmonica family a lot a lot and I hope we'll be able to maintain the kind of rapport we built up through these two years. Let's make it a beautiful ending, shall we? =)

Bulldozer?

2010-05-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

"You see, your blood doesn't stop flowing." The nurse commented, exchanging another piece of cotton pad and pressing it onto my elbow.

"Hmm?"

"Aiyah, you see, you are so fair, whenever someone punctures your skin the blood will all come gushing out, like a bulldozer like that."

"..."

Another nurse nearby tiptoed over and took a glance.

"She young girl mah, can't help it, blood will flow faster in young girls like her."

"!"

They grinned to each other. The nurse attending to me exchanged another piece of cotton pad again, the fourth piece.

"Ah, finally! The blood stop flowing at the fourth piece!"

***

Actually, I don't mind the simile about the bulldozer though it's weird,

Except that it's my arm, and my blood which they are comparing to.

:X

Tempers are flaring everywhere, let's keep cool and calm for this moment.

不死也掉一层皮

2010-05-22T23:48:00.000+08:00

Die Die Die.

Going to die this week.

Urgh, anyone to rescue me?

CLL test

2010-05-18T16:43:00.001+08:00

Mugging CLL test now.

Hmm.

Switching off my distracting computer.

Byes.

sense of bitterness

2010-05-17T21:53:00.003+08:00

I guessed it can't be helped. This feeling of resentment towards something.

要怎么说呢？

因为曾经让我失望太多次了，所以我现在怎么也无法在试图冷静的劝说我自己这是公平的。

我知道怎么说，其实也是对你的不公。可是我真的无法再继续欺骗自己了。

或许等我心情好一些的时候，我就会再度为你编一些借口吧。

一些明显到马上就能看穿的谎言。

***

Urgh. What I am doing is a waste of time.

I need pressure.

Someone to knock some sense into me.

dictatorship

2010-05-15T22:14:00.002+08:00

There's a point in having a dictator in an organisation.

It keeps the organisation functional and running, without too much disturbances. And furthermore, decisions can be made really fast without trying to seek opinions from everyone. With more comments, there will be less efficiency.

So can I be the dictator for once only? =) Let's not complicate things anymore and let things end here. I'm tired and sick of it already.

***

何必执著于几个让你不开心的人呢？何必再去想，然后又气死自己呢？

回头看，其实还有很多人会毫无代价的为你付出。我的注意力，应该放在这些人身上才是。

欣萤。就像一只萤火虫一样，只有懂得欣赏我的人，才能看得到我的美丽。其他人，我不愿、也不屑让他们看到我美好的一面。就让全世界的人都以为我是个怪胎或偏执鬼吧，我不在乎。

我只愿在乎我，及我在乎的人得到幸福快乐。人生有太多相逢却不能投缘的人，我哪能管得了那么多？

所以呵，开开心心过每一天也没错，少想一点东西，生活就会简单。总好过，每日的处心积虑，把自己弄脏了，何必？

***

看着湛蓝天空，吸着清新空气，让习习凉风吹过耳边，好个惬意人生呵。

Epic stuff?

2010-05-13T18:09:00.002+08:00

I always have epic stuff happening to me.

Tuesday: Slipped down flight of stairs outside PE department after bio remedial.

Oh wells. After all, it was wet and the whole floor is, well, wet. But I had to slipped at the moment a PE teacher came out of the room. And throw my thick stack of files and notes all over the place.

Everyone stunned for a moment. Then there were hands and arms and legs scrambling forward to pull me up. But even though my tail-bone hurts like siao I feel like laughing instead of crying that time.

Wednesday: Knocked my head against the computer's table lamp.

Urgh.

I wonder if there's ever a day in which I can ever don't meet with an accident.

...

Ok. Let's go back to do CLL now.

accomplished?

2010-05-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

I finished GP!

Feel accomplished!

...

Actually, no.

I still got Bio tutorial, maths tutorial, chem SPA and CLL Group Work to do.

Wonder what I had been doing this weekend. Except for practising harmonica?

Sigh.

Anyway, I have a feeling that Harmonica Concert's going to turn out super great. Seriously. It'll be regrets if anyone don't go.

Don't look down on a small band like us.

我们是有实力&爆发力的。

没来看，是你的损失。

Zombified.

2010-05-06T22:07:00.002+08:00

Zombified.

Can't think in the correct mind now.

I don't feel like doing maths at all.

I NEED MY BED.

I NEED TO SLEEP.

But I can't.

Urgh.

overdose

2010-05-05T05:44:00.002+08:00

I feel like puking from an excess dose of GP.

But I think it's necessary for me. 良药苦口。：/

But oops, I also think that Mr Koh will see an increasing trend of more and more confused thoughts as he assess my thesis statement homework.

I hate to think of it, but hey CLL group, I think we need to start on our 1500~2500 words essay analysis on 《再别》与《错误》对比。。。

=(

Overslept - again!

2010-05-04T04:49:00.002+08:00

Urgh.

I overslept. Till 3 am.

Just finished GP and I think I need to prepare for school already.

Urgh. What happens to my biology quiz now, when I have neither touched or flipped through the notes at all?

And I feel so tired. Sleeping only 3 to 4 hours is not going to help me today.

Urgh.

Just one conclusion: lack of self-discipline.

since the dawn of civilisation

2010-05-03T23:02:00.003+08:00

I'm really tempted to use the phrase "Since the dawn of civilisation..." for the introduction for our GP group work leh, how?

Haven't done anything which I'm supposed to do due to procrastination. Urgh! How am I going to take the biology quiz for DNA replication, transcription and translation when I haven't studied anything, and don't feel like studying at all?

And I'm still stuck at introduction for GP group essay.

And conclusion too.

And my 9 thesis statements homework.

And the supposedly essay which I want to do and hand in to Mr Koh for marking - heck, I haven't even selected the question!

Plus the Biology Homeostasis and Endocrine system tutorial to be due on thursday.

The maths tutorial which I see and throw aside on my table.

I don't even dare to think of my MPTP homework. Don't have the guts to sms Han Giang and ask her when she's free. But I guess I need to take the initiative right?

Eww. I just remembered 任老师 group essay of 1500 - 2500 words due on friday. Man, who's the one who ask for extension for only one week?

Oops. It's me. I'm just scolding myself?

Urgh. Plus all the to-do listt I want to do for my revision. Can I ever complete them?

妈妈，我错了。我应该吃饭吃快点的，然后就马上去做功课。这样子A水准考试真的会过不了关。

可是你煮的汤会影响我吃饭的速度！像今晚的莲藕汤，我吃得就很慢。星期三的金针菇汤，我通常都吃得很快。

以后少煮莲藕汤好吗？=）

... ...

不玩了。：/

I was hoping all these rantings would help to wake me up. I guess it had the opposite effect of making me more tired. =(

好累哦。Can I sleep for half an hour then wake up to do my GP again? I really can't think now.

I shall sleep on my chair in front of the computer to prevent myself from oversleeping.

And hope my weak and frail, 13-year-old swirling chair doesn't break.

To better prove myself, I shall wake up half an hour later and record my waking time on my blog again.

Can you be the judge? =)

Food for thought?

2010-04-26T22:05:00.004+08:00

I wonder why SMB's always taking so long too load :(

Doing my Bio BT1 corrections now, later I'll have to complete my chem tutorial, study for bio quiz and Math lecture test and if possible complete supplementary exercise for 陈老师。

Hmm, I also need to arrange time to find 方老师 for make-up lesson on 雪山。

In contrast to my hectic schedule, my mum's super relaxed.

Mum: "Girl ah, 会不会觉得天气很热？"
Me: "会吗？我为什么没感觉到？哦，可能是因为我忙到没有时间感觉到热了吧！"
Mum: "No wonder, 这就对了咯，所以我才说天气太热了！"
Me: "... ..."

Well, what else can I say to a person who plays on my sister's i-phone about 5 hours on the average each day and keeps complaining that she's too bored?

Today school's hmm, as usual. The banner-painting area was filled with flies in the afternoon though, it was just like a fly galore. Name the fly, and we've got it.

I killed some (oh no, I should say a lot) flies which landed on the wet paint on the harmoc banner. It was rather gruesome now to think of it, but I actually painted over the flies which landed on the words. Eeks, how I can be so inhumane that time still puzzles me.

But the flies wanted to crawl to the paint even though we tried to fan them away. So... is it still my fault? But I really don't dare to remove the flies from the paint, regardless of whether it's using your bare hand or tissue/newspapers/whatever-you-can-find-then! It's really super gross. Eww.

Hmm. Someone whom I didn't expected to tried to help me today. Or maybe it's just 一场美丽的误会。 Honestly I'll really think it's the latter, maybe it's just coincidence or merely part of my imagination, perhaps I read too deep into that action which I thought was trying to help me?

But well, if it's the first case, then I'll say... hmm, 我对那个人要改观咯。Perhaps, I really should consider validity of Yuheng's words?

In any case, even though I guess "那个人" most probably wouldn't even see my blog, I still want to say a thanks to "那个人". 谢啦!

Race against teachers?

2010-04-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

Today's Chemistry lesson was rather, erm, fun, in a warped sense.

Mr Loy was writing down answers on the board. Charmaine and I were busy copying down answers. I decided then, that since Mr Loy was still left with a few more questions to go, I should try to finish up all the undone questions in the tutorial before he go through them in the next few minutes. (I really did my tutorial okay, I just didn't manage to complete all questions :( )

So I was in a rush to compete against Mr Loy's speed of writing down answers. Basically it was like a race of how much I can complete before he finished writing down all the answers on the board. Then Charmaine joined in the race.

It was a time when notes are flipped frantically, pens of all colours are strewn about on the table and fast notes were scribbled down on the question paper.

I think I was doing the questions at a satisfactory speed and was at part (b) of Q7 while Mr Loy's still writing down the answers for the Q7(a). Then someone asked a question and I was secretly glad, all for the wrong reasons (because I will have more time to complete the questions when Mr Loy's answering the question).

"So for part (b) the solution is like..."

I was stunned for a moment. Slowly raising up my head to look at the board, I saw an uncompleted answer on the board, but Mr Loy was just verbally explaining the answer to the class.

...

唉。我都忘了老师不一定要用写的，也可以用说的来解释问题的呀。呜，Mr Loy 偷跑步啦!

Sigh, I have to admit defeat then. What choice do I have? I remember Charmaine was like saying, "I've admitted defeat a long time ago".

Sigh.

Moral of the story: Never race against teachers for writing answers down for tutorials. The best way is to just do the questions all beforehand.

So. I shall not repeat this mistake for Maths tutorial tomorrow. I will faithfully complete all my Probability tutorial questions today.

But I'm still stuck at Question 5 part (iv) leh, how then?

How now brown cow?

爆笑歌词分享（关于古装戏、武侠小说）：

大侠就是我Ⅱ

作曲：小狮子丢丢
作词：焰31
演唱：为了狮子头

配音：盟主：影视歌三流明星-小丢子湿湿
X兵甲：万年诚征女友-414
雷人的：八卦门主燕三医之弟
雷人的姐：八卦门主燕三医

X人甲：盟主！那个人杀过来了！
盟主：反了！他真是反了！武当少林峨眉三派可在！
X人甲：报~！那人杀到寨门了！三派高人，怕是远水解不了近渴了！
盟主：唉！！时也~运也~命也
X兵甲：啊！我也…啊！…盟主88了！（倒地）
X兵甲：保护盟主！啊！我死了！
盟主：大胆反贼！！你到底意欲何为！
主角：哼哼还我狮子头！

说起来前半生我真是坎坷
武林高手都爱把内力给我（哦~NO~~~）
啥都不说喷喷血KUA~就死了（吐血）
最大的门派八成是个贼窝
擅入者死的招牌都是摆设（又~NO）
神功用时就一定会折（哎呀）

火烧烧烧烧藏经阁
好在易筋经的备份很多
总会碰见蒙面人的
打个发丝散落
好兄弟原来是个女儿的（原来原来你是？）

白衣白马从天降下淡定又洒脱
不管如何算命的话一定要听着
劫富济贫锄强扶弱都是小儿科
谁让大侠就是我

抽空时就跳跳悬崖不行还有河
被蛇咬就推推后背百毒不侵了
盟主请客八成就是要让位于我
谁让大侠就是我

善恶终有报~天道好轮回~
不信抬头看~苍天绕过谁~

最后一定会惹到朝廷追我
BOSS的最高理想是不停的活着（九~千~岁~）
叫太师也不会是好人一个

神医的绝招就是吐满一车
反派的首领一定是个帅哥（哦~NO）是我是我~
干不干掉都是一个错

高手向来不赶趟的
低手个个都是爱动物的
绰号无敌黑熊瞎子
三头六臂狮子
抡起胳膊啊了一声就死

白衣白马从天降下淡定又洒脱
不管如何算命的话一定要听着
劫富济贫锄强扶弱都是小儿科
谁让大侠就是我

抽空时就跳跳悬崖不行还有河
被蛇咬就推推后背百毒不侵了
盟主请客八成就是要让位于我
谁让大侠就是我

主角命运再无敌也是打酱油的
男配才是凌乱到死人见人爱的
正邪相争正派一定就是邪恶的
谁让大侠就是我

听到噩耗帕金森多少是会犯的
真凶就是他他他他说不出来的
遇到密室转转花瓶就会打开啦
谁让大侠就是我

主角：哼哼善恶终有报天道…………
主角他姐：停！可以了！
主角：姐这个可以有
主角他姐：这个..真没有
主角：没啦啊哈哈~~

Ok Mama don't scream I'll go and complete my maths now...

PW results

2010-04-16T23:26:00.002+08:00

对许多人而言，今天是他们第一次拿到成绩。
可是我却是第二次了。

看到成绩的那霎那，我想起了拿到GSC成绩的那一天。那一天，我拿到成绩时都没哭呢。今天，我却哭了，是为那一个月前的我哭的。

因为真的体会过那样悲伤的心情，所以感触才会加倍吧！

No matter what case, thanks to the ZAI PW Group! =)

Yay, we all got 'A's!

Let's strive for more 'A's for our A'levels!

P.S. Chern Tze and Qiuhan, I'm looking forward to seeing you two with 7 'A's on your A' level certificate!
Pity that I won't be able to achieve that anymore, with the glaring 'C' on my certificate for GSC.

坚持

2010-04-04T22:42:00.002+08:00

我要坚持下去。

一定要撑下去。

才不要让人瞧不起我呢。

P.S. 吹口琴或读小说？我想你最终还是会希望我选择前者的。现在，我只剩下这个来让我发泄了。难道这样也不行吗？

... ... 算了，反正你也不会看到。

我明白你所要我明白的明白，可是你却不明白我所要你明白的明白，所以我们一起来明白我们彼此需要明白的明白，明白吗？

2010-03-19T20:17:00.002+08:00

我今天立志要在雪山的康桥上走完我的命运。

上一句话应该只有华中高二语特生才会了解我在说什么吧。

连续上了四个小时的补课。其实，我本来以为一个小时就能够搞定的。

当然，面对这种突然的变化，我很处之泰然的。我要学苗若兰一样，在危机中临危不乱，处之泰然。

方老师真的很有耐性，至少我跟梦飞都那么觉得。四个小时的补课不是玩的，很多东西要记，老师还每次等我们写完再继续解释。谢谢老师！

下午四点多我才去吃午餐，然后六点多我又去吃晚餐。几乎快撑暴了。下次我绝对不要这么迟才吃午餐了！

好了，回去闭关修炼了，还有大半的雪山等着我爬呢！

总说大人的世界很复杂。转身一看，才发现，我也已经踏入了这复杂的世界了呀。还是，不论在哪里，世界都那么复杂？

巧合

2010-03-10T22:32:00.002+08:00

雪山飞狐的故事是由一连串的巧合与误会组成的。

我的高中游泳课程也是！

就这么巧合的，躲过了所有游泳课。

第一、二、三个星期——体能训练。
第四个星期（第一堂课）——生病。
第五个星期（第二堂课）——还是生病。
第六、七个星期——忘了是什么了——好像是新年假期吧？
第八个星期（第三堂课）——与医院有约。
第九个星期——网上学习。
第十个星期——庆祝‘A’水准成绩放榜的假期。

所谓的巧合，就是这么一回事。要来都挡不住啊！

我是真的没有试图过找借口逃课哦！是真的都有事情才没办法上课的！

虽然说这样的话，我买泳衣还真是白买了。可是，我完全不介意！
呵呵。

要去做功课了！

Homework list

2010-03-06T17:47:00.004+08:00

Homework List

GP:
5 Vocabulary lists (Time Magazine)
Consultation for essay(?)
GP introduction
GP HBL reflections

Mathematics:
Maclaurin's Expansion Tutorial answers
Functions Tutorial answers
Complex Numbers Tutorial 10a/10b/10c
Complex Numbers extra worksheet
MPTP S&S 1 - done
MPTP S &S 2 - done
MPTP Maclaurin Theorem - done

Chemistry:
Acid-base Equilibrium Tutorial
Ionic Equilibrium Tutorial
Alcohol tutorial

Biology:
Respiration Tutorial

Chinese Language and Literature:
网上学习《雪山飞狐》 - done
看图作文

Miscellaneous:
Letter to angel - done
Letter to mortal - done
Take photo of articles - done
《异喻》故事

要说什么呢？

2010-03-06T00:05:00.005+08:00

Itsumo Nando Demo 是一首悲歌。

因为太过真实、太过纯真、太过感人，吹着吹着，眼泪也不禁流下来。

能说什么呢？

不够努力或运气不好？
太过自负或敷衍了事？

有些事，不是一夕之间能说得清的。
华文呐，那是使我肯定自我价值的东西。在拿到成绩单的时候，我甚至轻微颤抖。但又能怎样？事过境迁，我能如何？

看到两位好友的眼泪，我却哭不出来。你要我怎么办呢？跟着她们一块哭吗？
在考试完之后拿成绩是哭，其实是极度愚蠢的事，这是妈妈从小就教育我的道理。

可总是还会偷偷流下泪水，但不可以哭得太糟糕，否则回家不论多伤心都会被妈妈斥责。
不过，这样的成绩，没哭也会被她唸的。
在比较起眼睛可能会失明的可能性和'A'水准成绩单上的污点，我想成绩应该没有那么重要吧？
所以。决定藏起眼泪。

我不会放弃的，管它几个挫折。

下一次的成绩单，我一定是因为喜极，而泣。

乐极生悲 or 自作孽？

2010-02-16T20:09:00.003+08:00

乐极生悲。这是我现在的写照。

新年嘛，快乐、高兴一点无可厚非。这句话我是十分赞同的，所以就几乎是百无禁忌的享乐。

可是，要命哦，我觉得明天我会死透透。因为有两个字——“功课”。再加多两个字——“考试”。

我完也 =（

... ...

好吧，我承认，我措词不当。

不应该是“乐极生悲”，正确解答是“自作孽”。

唉。

Homework List

GP:
Time tunnel Section 2 R&R Question - done
5 Vocabulary lists (Time Magazine)
GP group essay
Make-up Comprehension Test
Consultation for essay(?)

Mathematics:
Maclaurin's Expansion Tutorial answers
Functions Tutorial answers
Complex Numbers Tutorial 10a/10b
Extra mathematics worksheets + answers
MPTP Vectors 2.1/2.2

Chemistry:
Acid-base Equilibrium Tutorial
Ionic Equilibrium Tutorial

Biology:
Respiration notes - done
Evolution notes
Respiration Tutorial
Consultation for Respiration & Evolution(?)

Chinese Language and Literature:
《茶馆》第二幕笔记
《错误》笔记
作文
报馆实习感想

Miscellaneous:
Letter to angel
Letter to mortal
Chingay CIP- Inform Mr Loy, Update on ISP, Fill in yellow form
《异喻》故事

完蛋了？

2010-02-11T14:41:00.002+08:00

命不久矣。

我好象哭哦。

这两个星期，我被自己的身体搞到乱了。一下子好又一下子不好，每天在头痛、想吐、晕眩中度过，什么课都没办法好好上。别人看我没上课待在家里好象很爽，我心里其实急死了，拿起notes读又读不懂，然后又头痛。怎么办？

意志力这种东西在面对病魔前好象变得不太可靠。上个星期四我硬撑了一天，结果换来隔天晕倒在慧琳身上。这个礼拜又来那么一次到学校“观光旅游”就回家，哎哟我的妈，我怎么办？

谁来告诉我！

还有，二姐我等你买午餐回来已经等很久了，我要饿到又要晕了呀！你到底还回来不回来？

我看我还是先去看医生好了。

horrible feeling

2010-02-02T19:25:00.002+08:00

It's kind of horrible to wake up everyday and realise you need to take three different sorts of medicine.

Oh no, it's four, counting the eye-drops.

=(

How's my body going to take it?

Paracetemol with folic acid, cough syrup with eye-drops. plus a regular dose of methotrexate (the one you find in bio notes, about gene resistance).

Then you almost find yourself with headaches every morning. What happened to the good old times when you can wake up and jump up from your bed feeling wonderful?

Okay, I admit, I'm just mooding.

是真的有想过，万一有一天，我真的失明了，该怎么办？这个情况不是不可能的，因为最近我的眼睛好象有恶化的现象。尤其当我还听到实习护士跟医生在我检查眼睛时说∶“There's quite a lot of cells in there”，我真的感到毛骨悚然。

如果失明了，怎么办？

我才十七岁。才正要展开人生。

我还没看够这个彩色世界。我还想去环岛旅行。
我还没亲手赚一笔钱给父母。我还想看到自己拿到大学毕业证书的样子。
我还没当上教师。我还想出版一本书。

太多太多的东西我都还没看过。太多太多的书我没读过。
太多太多的事我没做过。太多太多的感情我没体验过。
还没有实现要带妈妈到日本看樱花，然后拍一本美美的相簿当作纪念品的愿望呢。
还没有实现赚到人生的第一桶金，让父母不用再为我担心的愿望呢。

说不担心，说不怕，那是骗人的。
从此生活在黑暗中，人生还有什么可以期待？

因为恐惧，所以我逃避，所以我怠慢，从来不肯去讨论这种问题。
今天，只是纯粹想发泄。

反正医生也没有正面地向我表示什么，所以我的情况应该还不是很差吧？对吧? 我又一向杞人忧天，所以其实是没事的吧？

如果有一天，我要往科学这一方面发展，我一定会去当一个眼科医生。

就请读过这篇日记的人忘记这个阴暗的心情笔记者吧，让我们心照不宣，好吗？
也不要告诉妈妈关于我的恐惧，好吗？她已经够烦恼了，再因为我而担心的话，我想她会受不了而情绪崩溃的。

恶寒

2010-01-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

看到今年的时间表时，我心里升起了一股恶寒。

真的，我觉得今年虽然少了GSC，时间表看似比较空了，我却有一种今年会比去年惨的想法。

让我庆幸的，是体育课从以前折磨人的两个小时，减到了一个小时。

不幸的是，我们班第一个学期的体育课是学游泳。

游泳耶！那个曾经让乖宝宝小学二年级学生的我，不惜又哭又闹、又吵又跳、又撒娇又谄媚才联合家人一起帮我翘的“科目”。

好吧，也没什么好不承认的，当时的我真的是怕极了游泳，找了一堆借口给游泳教练，让我几乎每堂游泳课都顺利地翘掉。

真的，为什么高中之后又在叫我游？会游泳，很重要吗？

这个问题我也曾经问过妈妈。那时候，我和妈妈就达成共识，觉得游泳并不怎么重要，真的。

就算新加坡是个四面环水的海岛又怎样？我和妈妈都认为若有一天真的在新加坡发生了海啸，不会游泳的话，干脆直接一了百了好了，还可以免去应付所有的“红尘俗事”咧。

想到游泳，我头皮发麻。

那种需要把面部浸在水里的活动... ... 还需要闭气！这是我最最不能忍受的事。

曾经，我这么告诉身边的朋友，我对‘水’的恐惧应该跟申易怕草的程度不相上下。

朋友笑着问我，那我怎么冲凉，洗脸，洗头发？

那时我还支支吾吾地说不上来咧，因为那位朋友真的问中了我的要害。

现在，反正都被排课去游泳了，伸头也是一死，缩头也是一死，就告诉她实情吧。

我怎么冲凉，洗脸，洗头发？

冲凉：在身体上抹肥皂后，拿勺子从水桶里取水往身体泼，重点——

不能让水泼到面部，最高容忍限度是下巴，泼到嘴巴就马上用浴巾抹掉。

洗脸：紧闭双眼，抹了洗脸霜后，用水很轻很轻地往脸上泼，拨了十多下，确定干净后马上拿起一块在旁边预备好、拧得很干的脸巾把每个水滴从脸上擦去。

洗头发：身体向后弯，拿起蓬蓬头洗头发，洗到额际的头发时特别小心，只要有一滴水滑到眉毛就马上把蓬蓬头丢下，拿起浴巾擦掉。

三个步骤里，我最怕洗脸。用块拧干的脸巾来擦脸我还不介意，可是，用水直接泼脸我就有问题了。十二岁以前，脸部不太会出油，家人没有勉强我一定要用洗脸霜洗脸，所以通常只要用脸巾擦个一两下就okay了。

之后，我花了大概两年时间在适应“洗脸”这个对很多人而言应该很简单的动作。有一度我还坚持不要用洗脸霜洗脸咧，一半原因是因为我懒，另一半则是怕泼水在脸上的感觉。真的，大姐如果你看到这段文字请不要怀疑，那时我并不是不情愿洗脸，而是真的怕水泼在我脸上。

想当然，我那时的“脸皮"很糟糕，不过到最后被妈妈、大姐”强力“（真的很强，妈妈每天都念我，看到我的脸就叹气；大姐就会在看到我大声骂我“没救了”，这样长期下去，每天被人骂心理压力很重，我就承受不了压力妥协了... ...）坚持下，我还是学会了用水泼脸。现在我没有这么害怕了，可是在洗脸前我还是会有一点紧张。我觉得这种紧张或许会跟着我一辈子，到老到死都不会变。

所以，平常人很享受的“淋浴”对我而言是很恐怖的一件事。没看到我在去年迎新会时对所有有水的游戏都是一种望而却步的态度吗？就算真的参加，还看起来很像很高兴，仔细看就会知道那个“高兴的笑容”其实是“挤出来的笑容”，不过我想大多数的人都太投入了，所以应该没注意到。

记得迎新会时不就玩一个把水装进一个带有很多小洞、空心的竹竿的游戏吗？那时候不懂是谁说帮忙堵住竹竿的中、下部位洞口，应该不会淋到很多水。结果我就半站半蹲的守住一个中下部位的洞口（好吧，那也是因为我不够高），到最后仍是淋得满头湿。

那时一边用手指堵住洞，一边被水淋，我的心里真的为自己感到很悲哀，天哪，到底是哪个混蛋说出“守住竹竿的中、下部位洞口，应该不会淋到很多水”这种不负责任的话啊？那时候还没察觉有眼睛感染的毛病，还让水滴溅到眼珠子里，眼睛马上就红了起来，大大惊吓了才认识不久的慧琳和wan nge吧？

呃，不对不对我又走题了。

唉，不要看我形容得很像很夸张，我对“水”的这种恐惧是真的。噢对，把头部浸在水里还有一个令人恐惧的地方——耳朵会进水！这个相信大家都比较熟悉，耳朵进水的感受非常、非常、不好玩，我就有过好几次经历，在冲凉时让耳朵进水，然后我耳朵被堵住有至少五天之久。试想，冲凉耶，只是冲凉而已哦，而且我还是那种会拿蓬蓬头拿得离面部远远的人，耳朵都会进水了，那把头部整个浸在水里的“游泳”，不就更惨？

老天爷，观世音菩萨，上帝，圣母玛利亚，各方神明呀！我自认我从来没做过伤天害理的事，为什么要在高中时游泳？小时候的恶梦还没结束吗？我不是已经翘掉所有游泳课了吗？干嘛又弄出多一堆给我！这种教育，我不要啦！

光想到星期二的体育课，我就很想哭了！怎么办？幸好我的眼睛检查每次都被排在星期二，我应该可以skip掉好至少两堂游泳课，加上每个月到访的“好朋友”，可能可以拖一、两个礼拜（这时候，我就很感谢我是个女孩子了，男孩子是绝对不可能用这招避开游泳，啊哈！），那到时... ...呃不对！现在时间表上，我是每个星期二都有一个半小时的CLL课和Chem Lab！完了完了，通常是大堂课（数学除外）我还不怎么介意被眼睛检查给“吃掉”，可是现在是CLL课耶！还有practical！Oh my 天！一个是我最喜欢的科目，一个是我非去不可，要不然肯定会完蛋的科目，我这下真的完了... ... 尤其是在开学。通常最多practical的时候！我的Chem SPA！怎么办！

我好想晕过去，那就不用面对后天，啊，现在算就是“明天的”数学测验了... ... 怎么办？

半天假呢?

2009-12-24T17:09:00.002+08:00

我竟然在办公室时还能更新博客。这是我从来就没有想过的事。

SPH说，今天是圣诞前夕，员工都有半天假。
那为什么，我从11点采访，1点30分回公司写稿，3点完稿后还在这里呢？现在都已经五点了呢。

我的半天假到哪里了？
... ...

待会儿还要跑去Sri Srinivasa Perumal Temple为星期六的采访作准备呢。因为，那里的公关说没有关于星期六采访项目资料的软件版本，有的只有一叠叠的硬件资料。
... ...

命苦呀。

You're Beautiful MVs

2009-12-13T22:49:00.011+08:00

Okay, I admit - I am hopelessly in love with the Korean drama You're Beautiful.

That's why I'm delicating this whole post to show the songs in the drama, a thing that I have never done before.

是真的真的很喜欢这部戏。我觉得里面演员的演技都超厉害的。再加上，主角们的歌唱底子都不错。剧中很多首歌由他们唱起来，竟觉得他们真的像一个现实生活中的乐队。原因应该也是因为，剧中的两个主角(Jeremy - 李鸿基饰演 and Kang Shin Woo/姜新宇 - 郑龙华饰演)是现实生活中真正的乐队的一分子。值得注意的是，剧中的男主角(Hyung Tae Kyung/黄泰京 - 张根锡饰演)和女主角(Go Mi Nam/高美男 - 朴信惠饰演)却不是歌手，而是演员而已。而他们两人还挑起大梁，演出剧中乐队A. N. Jell 的两个主唱！最神奇的是，他们唱得真的很好！跟专业歌手相比，有过之而无不及！

这是一部绝对不能错过的——偶像剧。不只是因为剧中的主角、配角长得高、长得帅，而是因为剧情真的很引人入胜。或许你会说，偶像剧嘛，再怎么样都是一千零一种题材，注重点就是在煽情的剧本（俗称的洒狗血）。

可是这部戏真的很不同。换句话说，编剧在剧中洒狗血洒得非常高明、非常精致、非常新颖。=）
接下来的一连串MVs，请大家好好享受吧！相信看完了所有的MV后，大家也应该明白戏里在做什么了。

Promise/约定 - A. N. Jell

The theme song of the show. 哎呀，现在光听就觉得好兴奋了，好像再冲动地把整部戏重看一次——即使我已经这么做三次了。

As Ever/依然 - A. N. Jell

这首歌有两个不同版本，在这里都放上了！这个版本是由剧中的乐队 A. N. Jell演绎的，私心觉得这个版本是比较好的 =)

As Ever/依然 - Lee Hong Ki

剧中鼓手Jeremy演唱的版本，很喜欢他的声音，有一种干净的感觉。剧中的他是个很可爱的人物！也是我第一眼就觉得最喜欢的人物。大姐说他在剧中的演技其实满夸张的，可是我就是喜欢呀，喜欢是没有道理的 =）

My Heart Is Cursing/心在谩骂 - Kim Dong Wook

剧中经常听到的插曲，听着听着也会觉得很悲伤。

Without Words/默默无语 - 9th Street

这首歌！绝对是最多版本的一首，也是剧中最爱播放的歌曲之一，不管是很感动的画面或很悲伤的画面，这首歌一定会被作为剧中的背景音乐播出。剧中，这首歌是由A. N. Jell 乐队队长黄泰京为高美男制作的单曲，结果演变成美男对泰京感情的爆发曲。

Without Words/默默无语 - Park Shin Hye

感情爆发曲！就是这首！私底下我也最喜欢这个版本，觉得女主角的歌声很有爆发力。《优一周》专辑点评也评论过这首歌，说这首歌的歌词十分配主角的心声，这点我也很同意。

Without Words/默默无语 - Jang Geun Suk

男主角演绎的版本，歌声还是很动人，只是我总觉得有些地方怪怪的，好像比较没有那种爆发力的感觉。

Down From Heaven/从天而降 (With Oh WonBin) - Miss $

轻快歌曲！这个MV里说的是Jeremy和高美男的，呃，短短的，还不算爱情的爱情故事。基本上就是落花有意，流水无情。谁是落花，谁是流水，这个... ... 就让你们自己去看了。

Lovely Day - Park Shin Hye

很甜蜜的歌！但稍微，有一点过甜了，听就了还满腻的。

A Song For The Fool/因为我是傻瓜 - Park Sang Woo

这首歌听似轻快，但只要看过剧情的人在听到这首歌时都很想哭。因为这首歌，是剧中永远的温柔好男人男配角对女主角的肺腑之言。看了这个后，有一度我非常非常的讨厌高美男，为什么要让姜新宇那么难受呢，为什么喜欢的人不是那个一直注视着她，在暗中默默帮助她的——男配角呢？

Goodbye - Jang Geun Suk

这首歌，悲得可以。不同的是，这首歌是男主角的心声，会什么会这样呢，就等你们自己去看了！

What Should I Do/如何是好 Compliation - Jang Geun Suk & Park Shin Hye

同上一个MV一样。然而，这首歌牵扯到的还有男女主角父母亲之间的恩怨。这个版本还不是原唱版本，因为找不到好看的原唱版本的MV，就把男女主角的版本现放上来了。

What Should I Do/如何是好 - Park Da Ye

原唱版本登场！

哦！终于弄完了！大家慢用！再见！

猫咪，你在等谁？

2009-12-11T20:38:00.005+08:00

最近到SPH做实习生。

老实说，真得好累哦。可能是因为被分配到采访组的缘故吧，我几乎是每天都要往外跑，要不然就是做电话访问，等各公司公关回信。起初的一个礼拜，真的是茫然的，做每件事都忐忑不安，不知道是对还是错。偏偏我又坐在早报热线电话旁边，结果每次一有人来店我都吓了一跳。现在是实习的第二个礼拜了，情况好像比较好了点，比较不满意的就是不固定的工作时间。他们那边叫做灵活性的工作时间，对我而言却是苦差。

因为，那意味着我从早上八点到晚上十点都有可能需要工作。

幸好只是实习生，还没有那么重大的担子。
现在，我平均的工作时间都是早上十点到晚上七、八点。

晚上回家的时候，总会看到一只望穿秋水不知道等待着什么的猫咪。

其实这只猫咪是住在附近组屋的邻居家的猫。大概是从中三那年起吧，我回家的时候就会从巴士站穿越一座座的组屋走廊走回家。那时候就认识了这只橙白色毛发的猫。每次回家的时候都大概是下午四五点左右，那只猫就会躲在组屋走廊晒太阳、做日光浴。起初几次，那只猫对我还挺有警觉性的，每次已走过它的身旁它就会马上站起来，谨慎、防备的看着我走过。后来，日子久了，它大概是熟悉我的味道吧，也懒得理我了，有时还会在我走过是对我“瞄瞄”两声，意思意思打个招呼。

前些日子，我还看到它跟另一只黑猫走得很近呢，大概是在谈恋爱吧？那只黑猫看上去挺凶的。我想，如果是人的话，那只黑猫应该是属于那种黑帮大哥型的人。不过，所谓铁汉柔情嘛，啊不对不对，在这里应该是铁“猫”柔情，那只黑猫看上去倒挺照顾我邻居的猫似的。看它们两只在一起蛮可爱的，我都好像唱一首“两只老虎”，哦，又不对了，是“两只猫咪”送给它们了。

可是最近，我七八点多回家时，总会看到我邻居的猫咪一只猫孤零零的卷缩在我家组屋楼下。那只黑猫不知道跑哪里去了，都没有陪伴在我领居的猫身旁。看着那只猫咪趴在墙壁旁，时不时抬头仰望等猫的样子真得挺令人感到心酸。

唉，希望那只黑猫不会像老虎伍兹一样是只花心的猫。希望我邻居的猫早点找到一个真心疼它、爱它的猫吧，它真的是一只很可爱的猫呢。

容易高兴容易伤心

2009-12-06T11:36:00.006+08:00

我发现 —— 我很容易高兴。而且我也很容易伤心。
通常只要一点小事就能激发出我一堆的思考。
这到底是好事，还是坏事？

唉，一个CCM的人怎么能够怎么容易随心起动呢？不行，我一定要保持形象，尽管已经有很多人说，我的形象早在不知几时就荡然无存了。

但是——

人因梦想而伟大。所以，我也要为我的保持形象的梦想而伟大！

因此——

噔噔噔噔！

哇哈哈哈！我太为我自己感到骄傲了！我写的稿被打印了，出版在今天《联合早报》的第十版上！虽然被改了好多，但是，那仍是我的稿啊呀呀呀！

哈哈哈哈！我克制不住想仰天狂笑的欲望！虽然抬头是一片有些掉漆的天花板，但我也一样可以笑下去！

你们看到了吗，看到了吗？快去买报纸，快去读吧！

耶耶耶耶！啦啦啦啦！噢噢噢噢！

2009年12月6日
林欣萤独家报道

PS. 最近也疯狂迷上一部韩剧 —— 《是美男啊》（You're beautiful）。

真的真的很好看! 我看的时候不是因为狂笑而流泪就是因为感动而心痛！从这边看，四个男女主角好像都长得一般般，但看久了就真的会看得出他们的帅或美了。那那那，这里我把网络链接给弄上了——

华文字幕版：

《是美男啊》

英文字幕版：

You're Beautiful

任君挑选！

“人来疯”内心剖解

2009-11-18T07:44:00.003+08:00

我发现自己跟世界脱节。周遭的人都在忙些什么，我全无头绪。这种感觉，挺悲凉的。

好吧，我承认，我在闹孤僻、耍自卑。

一直以来都不怎么乐意把情绪放在这个网上日记，不是不乐意分享，而是觉得自己生活沉闷，没什么好写的。况且，就算要写些什么，也需要有那种想写的欲望，而这种欲望往往只会在我觉得感动/快乐/难过/情绪有所波动时才会涌现。然而，又因为我是个健忘、“人来疯”的人，一旦度过这种情绪波动后，我又懒得下笔了。毕竟，那些瞬间一闪而逝的感动/感伤，对我而言是极其难以扑捉的，要怎样才能完完全全地把自己的所思所想记录下来呢？

很难，对我而言很难，所以到最后，往往都是懒得下笔了，就空着吧。

糟糕，我走题了。

早晨八点，独自一人在语特课室令人有一种与世隔绝的感觉。我也不知道为什么会这么想。是因为这里的安宁吧！所以感触才特别的多。

猛然间，回头看个个同窗好友，才发现自己的生活似乎过得很颓废。每人都各自有自己的世界，但我呢？是性格中带有的那种、对任何事物都很少感兴趣的冷感让我变成这样的吗？因为我实在搞不清初，到底有什么值得他们那么狂热的，值得他们的心情如此绚烂，如此多姿多彩。是无意中遇到的任何事情就拿起显微镜，加以放大后在以自己的喜怒哀乐作为点缀，才会过得如此华丽？还是我自己这种总喜欢把大事化小、小事化无的性格让我无从去体验生活中的情绪？

之于我而言，人生好比一团烂泥，在烂泥中，还能找到什么能够勾引起我们兴趣的事吗？

我不知道，真的不知道。

毕竟，我连我自己想要什么样的生活都不清楚了。是渴望那种每天都有着不一样的心情写照、那种会大笑大哭的生活吗？还是那种忙碌到自己都不知道在做什么，然后每天晚上入睡时才欣慰地想，“今天又是一个充实的一天”的生活吗？还是像现在这样，能够空出一大堆时间发呆反思，几乎是“清心寡欲”的生活呢？

我不清楚。前两个选项的生活，似乎过得太大起大落了，套句佳俐以前在作文写过、令我深深震撼的话：“过度的兴奋也会使人感到疲惫。”然而，最后一样的生活选项，又似乎太过沉闷了些，可我对这种生活又会比较偏爱，因为这种生活虽是我无法感受过多的情绪，可相对的，我所会受到的伤害，也会来得少。什么样的伤害，抱歉，这里我无法解释，这只能由个人去体会了。

能够有耐性读到这里的人，其实应该会发现我性格中的缺陷——太过敏感、而且总是在自怜自哀。否则，又怎会有这篇心情日记的出现？毕竟这种烦恼之于别人而言是多么的微不足道。举个典型的例子吧，这就好像当你埋怨着口中的食物不够美味时，非洲的儿童们连一口食物都没办法吃到一样。讲到这里，我又有些不满了——对说出这种“典型”现象的人的不满。总觉得这种人应该是不了解“家家有本难念经”的意思吧？诚然，非洲的儿童们确实可怜，但也不应该否定掉这些所谓“微不足道”的人的烦恼呀！站在不同社会阶级的我们总会有不同的烦恼，又怎能拿来相比呢？为什么总要有这种“身在福中不知福”的感慨？为什么认为这些人都是在无病呻吟呢？

好吧，我承认，我又走题了。

算了吧。反正写来写去，也不知道自己到底在写什么，更何况，写下烦恼又不能实际上的解决它们，只会让别人觉得你更可悲而已，连这种事情都要烦恼。

两天前才对梦飞说，为人处事应圆滑，诚实、耿直固然好，但，也要看场所，最好应是向往“八面玲珑”的处世之道。当日情况历历在目，怎么反而是我先自己钻牛角尖，没办法在思考事物时“八面玲珑”呢？

我想，这应该又是我性格中的缺陷吧！

今天这篇日记，也许是我难得昙花一现的真正内心剖白，下次还会不会有这样的机会，哪，就要视情况而定了。（不清楚为什么我会这么说的人，请注意一下那个被Bold的字眼吧！）

PW'S OVER

2009-11-14T13:07:00.003+08:00

PW'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG, THAT SUCKY, IRRITATING, HORRENDOUS, STUPID, IDOITIC, SPASTIC, RETARDED THING IS FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON'T NEED TO MEMORISE MY SCRIPT NOW.

NO I&R. NO OP. NO EOM. NO GPP. NO PI.
NO FARE. NO A&E. NO GI.

I DON'T NEED TO GET PARANOID WHEN I SEE YH PLAYING DOTA/WARCRAFT/PVZ/WHATEVER OTHER GAME(S).

I DON'T NEED TO ENDURE YC'S SINGING WHEN TRYING TO TYPE OUT MY SCRIPT.

I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER MY VOICE WILL BREAK OR NOT WHEN I'M PRESENTING.

I DON'T NEED TO WORRY IF MY BODY JERKS DURING OP.

Okay.

Let's cool down from the excitement of being released from the torturing PW.

Owww. This is impossible.

我现在连做梦都会笑。

叫我冷静？

没门。

我的喜悦，已经无法用言语诠释了。
就像梦飞说的，现在的天气是万里无云的，下过雨后还会有彩虹向你微笑呢。

“至若春和景明，波澜不惊，上下天光，一碧万顷；沙鸥翔集，锦鳞游泳；岸芷汀兰，郁郁青青。而或长烟一空，皓月千里，浮光跃金，静影沉璧，渔歌互答，此乐何极！登斯楼也，则有心旷神怡，宠辱偕忘，把酒临风，其喜洋洋者矣。 ”

——范仲淹《岳阳楼记》

先借用一下古贤人的篇章看来形容现在在我眼里我所看到的一切事物吧！
（看到那个Bold的字吗？看到了吗？哇哈哈哈哈！）

乐疯了。

记者日记

2009-11-07T12:50:00.006+08:00

忽然想起那时候班上有些人想说要借他们看的那篇文章，就在此打了放上网，献丑了！CLL Blog 也有上载。

提示：《最宝贵的》、《药》有一个共同点，就是“拯救”，是以“拯救”为主题（不是“题目”），题目自拟，文体不限（小说、散文、诗歌均可），写一篇文章，内容要联系到上两篇文章。

记者日记

2006 年5月13日天气晴

今天算是个有纪念价值的日子。今天，是我正式踏入记者这个行业的第一天。怀着兴奋又有些胆怯的心情，我来到了那个极具时代感的大厦——“诚信报业控股”总部门。一踏入公司门口，那个热情的编辑助理美铃姐便带着我逛过公司的每个部门。我认识了风趣幽默的摄影师阿肯，外表打扮得光鲜亮丽的资深记者爱丽姐，绑着一条辫子，老是蹦蹦跳跳，像个长不大的女孩的绘图师晓兰姐以及许许多多其他有趣的同事们。

看着这群友善又热情的同事们，我那有些忐忑不安的心，也终于安顿下来。坐在属于我的座位时，我的心情是飞扬的、雀跃的、迫不及待的。未来光明的前景似乎就在我面前展开。

就让我怀着跃跃欲试的心来面对我接下来的挑战吧！

***

天气，炎热得有些过分。

她坐在爱丽姐的身边，手中捧着一本笔记本，聆听着在众人前的法僧念着超度亡灵的地藏经。

太过炎热的天气，搭配着白色的帐篷，竟也成了一种诡异的调和。白色帐篷下，除了喃喃的念经声，仔细一听，轻轻的抽泣声也逐渐响起。这声音，听在耳里，令人也不禁感到悲伤。瞬间，帐篷下浓郁的悲伤气氛仿佛无限扩大，令人窒息。

她不由得轻叹了一口气。世上的悲剧怎么如此之多？今天，是前两天跳下地铁轨道寻死的男子的丧礼。据说，男子是因为被债务逼疯了，才做出这么疯狂的事情。这件事，在国内掀起了轩然大波，引起了许多人的注意，纷纷热心地捐款救济那死者的遗孀，帮助那可怜的一家子解决庞大的债务。今天，她和爱丽姐被委任来此采访死者的亲属，希望能了解到目前为止所筹得善款够不够救济这惹人同情的一家人，他们还需不需要更庞大的资金来带他们走出困境。想到这里，她嘴角也轻轻上扬了起来——人间处处有温情，这句话，果然不假！

“笑什么？人家法僧在超度亡灵，你还在这边偷笑，很不敬哦！”爱丽姐眼尖地发现了她的笑容，轻拍她的大腿示意她收起笑容。

“没什么，只是觉得，这个社会也是挺温暖的。。。。。。”

等到了超度仪式完结，爱丽姐和她便打起了精神，走向那前排坐着的死者的家属。走到一半，她却突然感到肠胃一阵不舒服，有些抱歉地向爱丽姐解释后，便匆匆忙忙的跑向离白色大棚不远处的厕所。真是糗大了，怎么就偏偏挑在她要准备进行采访时才闹肚子呢？

“唉，你怎么把我拖到这里来了！不是才要接受采访吗？”

听到“采访”两个字，她的注意力马上被吸引去。开口说话的人，是个男人的声音。

“叫你出来你就出来，有什么好反抗的？”这词，开口说话的人的声音尖锐得有些刺耳，不难猜出是个女人的声音。

“那，有什么事，回去再说不能吗？真是的。”又是之前那个男人的声音，语气中的不耐显而易见。

“我跟你说，听说今天那几位来自报馆的记者是来问上次所筹的款数够不够的！”女音当中带着兴奋，似乎无法掩盖。“现在，我们有得赚了！”

“你。。。你又在打什么主意了？”

“啧，说得我多坏似的！”那道女音的主人不满啐了男人一口。“我只是在为我们家着想啊！而且，真要说什么，也只能算是你那个短命的弟弟欠我们的！记不记得，他不时向你借钱吗？这件事，当时差点把我给气死了。又不是不知道你那弟弟没出息，说要搞什么生意，结果咧？生意没做成，倒是欠下一屁股债务丢给我们扛！”

“喂你够了没？人都死了还说得那么难听，他好歹是我弟弟！”

“我说错了吗？你看，实施不久摆在眼前吗？没办法还清债务，他倒好，就跳下地铁轨道，两腿一身，眼一闭，就全都不干他的事了呀！苦的是谁？不就是我们这些帮他还债的人！也幸好他的死竟然引来报馆的人来采访，才会有机会帮我们筹款。所以，现在我们开口要多一点钱也不为过啊！要不然这么好赚钱的机会你要上哪里找啊？”

“但。。。公众捐款是给弟妹筹钱呀！这样做，会不会太过分了？”男人的声音里，有些举棋不定。

那女人冷冷一笑，又继续说：“拜托，你弟弟死了之后，你想你那个无依无靠的弟妹和她的三个孩子会搬到哪里住？自然是来投靠我们啦！所以，你就不必介意了，就当是他们一家给的租房钱不就好了？所以，等一下那些记者问你时，你记得要这样说。。。。。。”

随着厕所外的那对男女离去，他们的声音也越来越模糊不清。她站在洗手盆前，呆呆地看着镜中倒影，有些无法接受刚听到的那些残忍的、无情的、自私的算计。

一直到爱丽姐结束了采访，找到了她，正担心的慰问她到底发生了什么事时，她才发现自己竟然待在厕所将近一小时。

回到了帐篷内，她看见了那个依然在细细哭泣的可怜寡妇，以及在旁轻拍着她肩膀，那一对据说是死者的哥哥和嫂嫂的男女。

似乎是感受到了她的注视，死者的嫂嫂抬起了头，还友善地对她笑了一笑。

骤然，胃里一阵翻腾。她无法阻止自己，当场就吐了出来，脑海中不停地重播着厕所内听到的对话，以及那位妇女的微笑。。。。。。

***

“。。。所以，当时的情况是那辆黑色的轿车撞上了大卡车，然后车主和大卡车的司机便下来，双方起了争执是吗？”

抱着孩子的妇人不耐烦的挥挥手，似乎希望她能赶快离开。

“是啦、是啦！我也不是很清楚，反正他们一下车就开打了嘛！简直吵死人了！”

忙碌的记录笔记的手停下，她愣了一愣，抬起头来，看着那位妇女。妇女被她瞧得有些不自在，不禁放轻了语气，问道：“还有什么我帮得上的么？”

“当时，是您拨打电话求救的吗？”

“我。。。。。。”妇女的脸上，染上了一抹明显的愧色。

“当时，我抱着我儿子。又没带手机，多不方便啊！而且，别人也没有打电话啊，最后是个小伙子，打了电话给救护车就好像有急事似的走了。。。。。。”

答非所问。多余的解释，更像企图为自己脱罪。但，那位妇女又何罪之有？只是冷眼旁观而已呀。

她微笑，谢过了妇女后便结束采访。至今已是她成为记者的第三个年头了，她早已从当初那个跟在爱丽姐身旁的小助理晋升到可以独当一面的记者了。离那次男子跳轨事件也已经有两年多了。

今天，公司派她来采访的事件，是关于一起因车祸而延伸出的争执。本来一件轻而易举便能解决的事，却因为双方都不肯退步而酿成了悲剧——卡车司机与轿车车主竟因一言不合，便开始打了起来。后来，不知是谁突然拿出了一把刀，开始砍向对方。在争执中，有一人被砍成重伤，性命垂危。

闭上眼，深呼吸了一口，她谢过了在场让她进行采访工作的警长，转身离开。一路上，还看见有些人竟探头探脑的，企图抄下闯祸司机的车牌号码，手中还拿着马票纸呢。

叹了一口气，她强迫自己不要去质疑这一切，强迫自己把妇女不耐的眼神，嘴里把一起伤人见血时间以“吵死人了”来形容时的表情给忘掉，也强迫自己，忘记对这个世界的失望。。。。。。

***

2009年7月14日天气晴

爱丽姐建议我应该放一次长假。

我不知道该不该照着她的话去做。

在记者这个行业做了三年，我也挺累的。除了因工作上的繁忙，累的，也是我的心。

三年以来的确让我长了不少见识。记者这个行业，让我接触，让我看到了许多人性的面貌。

原来一个人可以在平静的外表下藏着那么多心思。就像当初那个把自私的计划设计得天衣无缝、算盘打得响亮的“嫂嫂”，竟然还能朝我笑得友善一样。那是我第一次出师采访，想不到就让我获取了这么“宝贵”的经验。

直到最近的车祸事件，我也从当初那个坚信“人间有情”的傻女孩成了一个能对这种事情习以为常的人了。

是不是应该怪自己把人性想得太美好了呢？是不是应该怪自己对人们的期许过高？是不是，自私、无情、残忍、不耐、迷信。。。。。。这些种种的情绪都是人性中无法拔出的劣根性呢？

我，差一点就要摒弃了从小到大，坚持“人性本善”的真理了。

这世界，需要有变化，需要有什么力量，狠狠敲醒人们的脑袋，让他们不在时刻地算计别人，恢复人性中的热诚、真实、自然。要不，恐怕在全球暖化将地球毁灭前，人类将先毁灭自己。

或许，真的是时候给自己放个长假了。。。。。。

咬牙切齿

2009-11-06T21:43:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I was seriously on an emotion roller-coaster.

In the morning I was thinking about H3 CLL. That got me off on a really really bad mood.
Then I remain "neutral" for a while.
Something upset me in the afternoon again, but after lunch I felt a lot better. I guess food therapy works on me.

在emo的时候，有个挺突兀的情况发生。我拿起我的稿纸，在胡乱写、发泄我的情绪的时候，班上的一群男同学就走进了语特课室，准备开始他们的"makeshift LAN" 厮杀。然后，Preston 看到我在写东西，以为我再做GSC功课，很有义气地帮我加油打气。我顿时就有些傻眼，本来想要解释的，可是看他那么诚恳的样子，又有些于心不忍，不忍告诉他，其实，我不是在用功读书，而是在努力发泄，他的加油，用得有些。。。。。。呃，不恰当。

不过我是真的很感谢他的加油啦，虽然用得不太适当，但是相比其他男生之下，他真的很细心，也很关心同学：）谢谢你，你的加油，我心领了。：）

Sigh.

Today was just equally as bad. I woke up feeling super terrible. My nose's blocked, and I started coughing like hell. Sorry pw mates, but I think I might have caught a cold, right before OP. Let's hope that I get well soon.

I went to school all the way thinking that I could submit my GSC compo. Then when I reached school, I realised that I didn't bring the compo at all. Plus I also left the library books I want to return at home.

It's super bad right?

I refuse to admit it's my fault. Really, why should it be my fault, when the shoe cabinet looked so eager for me to put my file and books on when I was wearing my shoes.

It's the shoe cabinet's fault. :(
Similarly, it's the toilet bowl's fault when I dropped my sony ericsson k610i into it.
And it's also the lift crack's fault when I dropped my sony ericsson k660i into it.

Really, what can a person do when the lift crack and the toilet bowl calls out for your phone?
You can only let them be.

Sigh.

今天去学校根本就是去当花瓶的。
噢，不对，我没有当花瓶。我在学校还吃了菜贩，玩了Icy Towers，睡了一觉。
更正：今天去学校根本就是去当猪，然后体验醉生梦死的生活的。
再然后，就是听到某个消息然后被气倒的。
我现在真的很想很想，向申易借几把锋利的刀。
用来做什么呢？

恕本小姐心情不好，请自行猜测。

唉。糟糕的一天。

Ah-ha, I managed to do some links. Too tired for today already, shall consider linking next time...

诡异的灾害

2009-10-30T05:11:00.002+08:00

华中校舍之三大威胁：

一、以不同瓦片铺成的地面。
人生的道路便是由华中的地面而能了解，它的凹凸不平，曲折难解，令人感触颇深，人生的道路，莫过于如此？在雨后的清新中，则成了了积水的收藏地。然，华中无处不见的它，每时、每分、每秒都让人有深刻体悟人生的感叹，没有任何障碍物，一路直通到底，脚下踩着的地板忽高忽低，凹凸有致，只要没有注意，就会因失神而与地面来个卿卿我我，缠绵悱恻呀！

二、一柱柱高耸的墙壁、柱子。
人性中所要求的品质，莫过于这些墙柱所表达的意喻：坚定不移、威武不屈。尽管被漆上不同的颜色，但它们和谐共处，默默为数千个莘莘学子撑起一片天。不同肤色，仍能合作无间，更表现的新加坡多年以来的期待：种族和谐，可敬、可赞呀！然，其坚定的个性却略显不够柔软，每每忘情的不意一撞，脑部剧疼，实在是令人难以忘怀，感叹滋味无穷啊！

三、各个厕所里的马桶。
圆滑亮丽，洁白光滑的外表下，却有着令人难以超越的广大胸襟，“宰相肚里能撑船”，实测应改成“马桶肚里能容量”。其为人类所做出的功效，伟大无比，有了它，人们莫不感到欣慰，使用它，测通体舒畅。然，其狡诈之处在于它的广大容量，举凡是什么都能掉入其中，更是谋杀多个无辜手机的无形杀手，怎不让人扼腕其邪恶的企图！

看似平凡，实测暗藏杀机，华中处处，莫不叫人感慨人世的阴险呀！

after promos...

2009-10-12T18:18:00.005+08:00

Promos 完了。
我也完了。

这次的升学考我是彻彻底底的完了。不懂为什么，没有办法转下心来读，更糟糕的是身体的不适，让我几乎是天天昏昏欲睡。结果我几乎没有读到什么。

这次的升学考真的是去“玩”的。虽然很不应该，但考都考了，会得到什么样的烂成绩自己心里也有数。也就让这次考试当成一个鉴定吧！看看我真的没有读书时（或者说最接近真的没有读书的状态时）自己的脑袋装了什么，考试成绩会拿多少。

这种心态真的要不得。我看我就终其一生只会有这么一次关于“考试”时的反叛行为，再这样下去兴许我的前途还没被我玩完前，我就被自己的愧疚心给折磨至死了。

考试过后的日子，我迎来了一半糜烂的生活。说“一半”是有原因的，因为我是真的没有完全颓废。我还是有再看一些课外习题的，虽然通常都是在家里没有人的时候看，所以没人知道。因为我发现我不能真的陷入颓废状态，要不然我肯定会比这次的考试死得更惨。

关于糜烂生活的定义，主要则是在“吃、上网、睡”这个循环中度过。我发现有时我还真像一只猪耶，胃口真的可涨可缩，有时候我还真可以在吃完了午餐后就马上就吃下一份算挺大的下午茶餐点。而且，因为吃的都是很贵的食物（但是超好吃的），我的荷包也正在迅速减肥中。希望我的身材绝对不要和我现在的钱包的状态成反比，呜，我真的需要忏悔了，不过在忏悔之前——先介绍几道我在吃过了之后就一直一直垂涎的食物。

Imperial Treasure 拉面小笼包，位于Marina Square Level One。（原谅我懒得去查它的华文名字）
下面就是小笼包的照片。（超好吃的，汤多，肉鲜，味美——哈哈，我在打广告，没错）

它的上海锅贴饺子也是很好的，而最得我心的是它的清炖鸡汤，汤清少油，真的非常好喝，不过价格也很贵，一碗满小碗的汤就已经八块钱，加上GST 。。。

破费可想而知。但是为了食物，绝对值！（这纯属个人意见啦。。。）

Oh yah, my sis and I ran into Qiu Han and Guang Yi today after our, er, extravagant spendings on food today (as for what food, refer above, both of us ate all three dishes right after our lunch, thanks to our expandable stomachs).

正靠在地铁车站的座椅上呈现半撑死的状态时，眼前闪过两个很眼熟的人影。秋寒打扮得很成熟，很美哦，跟在学校很不一样（也对啦，学校来来去去也都只是穿校服、体育服而已），所以我几乎认不出来。

小俩口在甜蜜约会=）

然后，我就很自卑的发现，我的穿着品味跟秋寒相比，真的是"kiddo and adult"的差别。人家穿得斯斯文文的，连身长裙，我咧？

3-quarter pants plus a 随便套上的 t-shirt (rather crumpled too, but no one realise because I was wearing my cardigan). Somemore I was burping (because I ate too much) and sitting in a quite unglam way because my stomach was too full and I couldn't care less about my image at that time.

真是淑女与流氓的差别。

结果只好很阿Q精神的自我安慰，“女为悦己者而容嘛”，她穿得好看也是应该的。。。

what the heck is happening to me?

2009-09-26T03:12:00.002+08:00

I seriously wonder if this is a season of bad luck for me.

Fainting first, folllowed by vomiting. And I also don't understand why I am here in the morning at 3+ am.

Are these kinds of torments never going to end for me?

Urgh. And it has to be before promos, the "狂风正吹起"的时段.

How how how???

Urgh...

Is it interesting that I have to find Methotrexate in the bio notes I am studying now too?(Control of eukaryotic gene expression, pg 8)

just sick?!

2009-09-19T13:54:00.002+08:00

I don't like the effects of Methotrixate.
But I have to take it.
Or I may have to pay the price of my eyes for it.
...................................................................................................................................................................
This is seriously disturbing. I think my body is getting a little bit too weak now. Not that I was ever the healthy baby from the start.
Anyway, good thing is, my limbs which have been rather numb since thursday is finally getting a bit better. Bad news is, I'm developing a rather bad sore throat.
Whatever medicine the doctor gave me for my sore throat, I am quite positive that it's not working. Or not working in the correct way, at least. I mean, the usual side effects of feeling drowsy, tired, those are still there, but talk about curing the sore throat...

Oh wells. What can I say?

to go or not to go?

2009-09-11T00:29:00.002+08:00

现实与理想的挣扎。究竟，谁胜谁败？孰重孰轻？
剪不断，理还乱，这句话竟然讽刺性的成为我现在最大的烦恼。
剪不断的，是对理想的渴望；理不清的，是对现实的残酷。
想来想去，到最后是越想越乱。
到底该怎么办？
站在对自己前途而言，我是该欣然赴这场盛宴的，但我还是太怯懦了，一直都不敢踏出第一步。
到最后，或许大哭一场会比较有效吧？但是哭，又能怎样？这也是我问自己好几遍的问题。于是乎，我们又回到了原点。
真的好烦，脑袋里乱哄哄的，该做的、不该做的都搅和在一起，把原本的次序一一颠覆。
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
道德和利益之间的拉锯战从未在我脑海中停下过。真的，我发现我变得好多，但不知道是不是变好还是变坏。道德的界限随着年龄增长越见模糊，我也无力挽回那条虚拟的线。只能时时提醒自己，这样做对吗？

唉，头又在疼了。想得太多，果然是件坏事。

pasta anyone?

2009-08-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

Don't ever believe it when youe eldest sister tells you that she wants to make pastea for you.

It will end up you making pasta for her.

Or rather, I think it's half-half. She will put in too much water, saw the bubbles you get when boiling water, exclaim in shock and turn off the gas tap. Then you will have to turn on the gas tap again, and wait for the water to boil again.

Sometimes I wished I could be a real youngest sibling. The kind who won't have to wake up ealier to wake her elder siblings up for appointments/school, the kind who don't have to cook lunch for their elder siblings, the kind that don't have to stay up late at night to open doors for their elder siblings.

Sadly, those days might never come.

The themem of reversal is always apparent in my family, especially within the three of us.

Why is it that the youngest sibling have to look after her two elder sisters?

无解。这是我唯一能想得到的回答。
。。。
。。。
。。。

*唉，梁钰珩，你就必须要这样伤了我的心你才甘愿吗？
本小姐对你死心塌地、一心一意，为了能挽回你的心，不惜作出赔本的买卖，你还不肯接受？
啊！
我的心碎了一地，那悲憾的声音，你听见了没？
那是我对你的真心呀！
难道因为我们分隔了两地，你就不在乎我了吗？
竟然。。。不肯听我念唐诗给你听！
。。。
。。。
。。。
重色轻友的家伙！凭什么说***有资格自恋，那我没有吗？GRR...*

以上从*到*里的对话，纯属本人对某个跟我家打对台的人的某位重色轻有的人的对话，大家看不懂也没关系，哈哈！

保持缄默。惟有如此，才能维持和平假象，不让事情搞得更糟糕。这样做，应该是对的吧?
眼观鼻，鼻观心，我除了忍，还能怎样呢？

忍字头上一把刀，那把刀悬了好久好久，快砍中了她疲惫不已的心了。

-于晴《闲云公子》

confessions to make

2009-08-19T18:48:00.002+08:00

Confessions to make:

Sorry to the group of girls whom I borrowed the computer today to send my email for being really insensitive today. I apologise for not thanking you after I used the computer but instead, just stomped off angrily because of family matters.

Sorry to my PW group members if I seemed pissed and stressed and 欠扁 today. I apologise for my inefficiency in doing PW work and I really really promise to do all PW stuff really quickly and nicely by putting in my 100 x 100% effort.

Sorry to FA-MAR-LY for being so angry and frustrated and having mood-swings all the day. I apologise for murdering you all with my horrendous singing.

Sorry to all the teachers who will be teaching me tomorrow and friday. I apologise for my incompetency in completeting all my homework. Especially for Chem which I am still at Kinetics tutorial and my tutor is already going two more topics ahead.

And finally sorry to my dear dear family who have been withstanding my mood-swings and sudden bursts of anger and my laziness and everything. I apologise for all those things I've done to you all.

eom madness?

2009-08-14T05:27:00.002+08:00

Enough is enough.

Draft 6 for Eom is enough.

The prospect of a Draft 7 for Eom is just too much for me to handle.

I REALLY CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

bandages off?

2009-08-07T00:28:00.002+08:00

I finally got rid of my bandages for my ankle.

And I sincerely hope that I will not get it back again.

It's been a bad day yesterday. I keep offending people left and right due to my insensitiveness. Sorry meng fei and charmaine, I reaklly didn't meant to do all those things that upset you all. Seriously very very sorry...

pw, chem lecture test, cll test and maths assignment

2009-08-02T08:31:00.002+08:00

I started humming 'Close to You' when I was doing WR chapter two.

And I have no idea why, because certainly I don't want to be 'Close to You' in the case of PW.

Group: SATA's measures and WR chapter three.

Individual: EOM, Chem Lecture Test, CLL Test, Maths assignment, GP 250 word analysis and CLL remedial work.

Torn between the two big categories. Which one should I choose to do first?

If I don't do the first, I think my PW group members will come and butcher me up.

If I don't do the second, my mum will come and butcher me up.

I feel like just throwing everything aside but after careful analysis of the situation (what a painstakingly memorable phrase), I realise that I can't do that.

Because if I chose the third option, before my PW group members and my mum start to come after me, I think I will take the knife and gladly finish their job for them first.

"Well, in any case, you still have a variety of options to chose from even if you do decided to work on either of the different categories of work," this little irritating voice inside my head reminded me gleefully. "Yes, a large variety of options."

Yes, a large variety of options.

When faced with a decision, it is always good to have "a large varity of options" to choose from.

But in my case, I beg to differ.

I seriuosly don't like having a large variety of options to choose from when I'm deciding what homework to do.

Especially when I was startled by the prospect of undone homework and scrambled to get up at 5 on Sunday morning, when I discovered that I had discarded the bandages for my sprained ankle but it still hurts and when I am literally getting cold feet and feeling warm and fuzzy in my body which hints to me the possible start of a fever.

And Huilin, I really need to apologise for last night when we're discussing WR chapter three. My internet connection just went 'poof!' and following that, my computer also went 'poof!' and everything was black. I tried futilely to restart my computer again but it just would not restart. And there goes our discusssion. If you by any chance happen to see this post, please pardon me and my computer and send whatever chapter three info to me. I will continue doing it and by hook or by crook I'll try to send to yc before today ends.

Urgh.

This just totally rocks, doesn't it?

为什么呢？

2009-07-25T15:34:00.002+08:00

我的信念一直没有动摇过，而我也不希望它会有动摇的一天。

小时候，看待这个世界的想法很简单、很单纯、很美好。世界就是一个大空间，在这里，我能实现我的梦想。想哭就哭，想笑就笑，没什么烦恼。

长大后，我的视野越广，世界却越显得狭益了。不知不觉中，我发现我的梦想变得难以实现，逼近，要怎么期望每个人都能开心？要怎么期望人心没有贪欲？

这根本是不可能办到的事。

“世界太小，梦想太大

人生不过是残酷的笑话。”

——JS

我想我开始理解这句话的意思了。

但愿我的信念能有坚持下去的一天。

what else can I say?

2009-07-25T00:14:00.002+08:00

I serously don't like myself to be so accident-prone.

Tuesday: Scraped my knees playing netball during PE. Discover a big hole only after I got home.

Same day: Burnt myself with hot water when carrying instant noodles down from second storey.

Wednesday: Banged into my house's door when I was opening them.

Thursday: Nothing happens :) (maybe paper cuts? Or else what could have explained the few little slits on my fingers?)

Friday: Scraped my fingers on the College's walls.

Same day: Banged into a trees when walking to Serene Centre.

有些人，就算你已经很小心了，意外也仍会找上你。

很悲哀的，在过去一个星期里，我的际遇彻彻底底的向我证实了，我就是这种人。

也许你看到这里会想仰天大笑，但是，我只想告诉你：

一个礼拜遇到这么多意外，不对，应该称之为倒霉事，是不好玩的，而且也很痛！

I think the most ridiculous accident should be how I scraped my fingers against the College's walls.

It was a cool evening, after Harmoc prac. MF and I were walking to the canteen gate when we saw ching man and jessica. We went to talk to them and I put my hands on the concrete walls besides the metal gates. (notice: concrete, concrete, CONCRETE! urgh!)

There was a small levelling (is that what you call it?) or some really really very short platform between college gates and the ground before it. I didn't notice. When I stepped forward, I slipped. I don't know what exactly happen then, but then a sharp piercing pain came from my right hand and it went numb for a few seconds. When I looked at my hand, it seems alright so I just heck care about it and keep on talking.

It was only when I was walking out from Gate 1 with MF did I realise that there was this tiny red dot that kept grewing bigger and bigger on my middle and fourth finger.

Oops.

I DID IT AGAIN.

I INJURED MYSELF AGAIN. :(

Worst thing is, I forgot to bring plasters. Urgh. Luckily the blood didn't dripped in front of MF.

Then at the coro bus-stop, MF and I separated and I continue walking to Serene Centre. There was a big tree on the way, a really big one with very very rough bark. Again, I din't notice. And of course, I bumped straight into it. When trying to balance myself, I absent-mindedly put out my right hand, the hand that was injured to push myself away from the tree.

That did the trick of making blood dripped down from my fingers. (Remember how I comment about the tree having very very rough bark? Now you know where I got my observations from. A painful observation, though.) Luckily for me again, the wound is not very deep and the blood flowed quite slowly and after a while it just stopped.

And so coinicdentally, on my father's cab (he came to fetch me, willingly. for the first time in don't know how many years!) there is a box of plasters which I used to bandaged my poor fingers. But that comes with a price. Because my mum is also in my father's cab. Not to mention two very tired/ sisters too. They were stunned when I held out my fingers (I tried to wash with water to make the wound not so scary). What a graduation gift for Da Jie...

发，疯了

2009-06-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

当我们读书读得快发了疯时，你会用什么样的方法来让自己得到解脱呢？

一、无厘头的大喊大叫，让人真的觉得，你发了疯。
二、静静坐在一旁，呆呆的望着讲义/课本/文件夹，然后瓦自傻笑起来，笑得人莫名其妙。当人们的目光不小心对上你时，他们都会很惊愕的发现：天呀！那女孩怎么脸上挂着这么诡异的笑容？啊，她转过来了，好骇人呀！见鬼啊！
三、直接把讲义抛弃，投奔向最靠近的沙发、床，跟此生挚爱——周公约回去。
四、一觉醒来，发现讲义还是那么多，怎么办呢？然后，叮！脑子闪现了一个好主意。马上准备好一桶水，一个打火机，然后。。。开始伟大的焚讲义计划，将讲义焚化后的灰烬参与水中搅拌，一天喝一点，到考试时期——呀！讲义全部在我脑海里了！
（注：第四点与焚符饮用的原则基本上相同，只不过，功效如何，尚无人知晓。）

基本上前三点本人都已经做到了，也足以可见，本人确实快要步入板桥医院的门口了。

神呀！救救我吧！我不想走到第四步啊！

。。。
。。。

好吧，基本上从第一行到这一行之前都属于无意义性的话，大家都可以不要去理会，现在，重点来了！今天，我将把一篇我觉得颇耐人寻味的古文放在这里，希望大家有空来欣赏，没空，也请随意。（不过，既然你会把这个post从头看到尾，就代表说你应该是有空的，对吧？）

《寒山问拾得》

稽首文殊，寒山之士；南无普贤，拾得定是。
　　
相传寒山为文殊菩萨化身，拾得为普贤菩萨化身。
　　
昔日寒山问拾得曰：世间谤我、欺我、辱我、笑我、轻我、贱我、恶我、骗我、如何处治乎？

拾得云：只是忍他、让他、由他、避他、耐他、敬他、不要理他、再待几年你且看他。
　　
寒山云：还有甚诀可以躲得？拾得云：我曾看过弥勒菩萨偈，你且听我念偈曰：

老拙穿衲袄，淡饭腹中饱，补破好遮寒，万事随缘了。
有人骂老拙，老拙只说好；有人打老拙，老拙自睡倒；
涕唾在面上，随他自干了，我也省力气，他也无烦恼，
这样波罗蜜，便是妙中宝。若知这消息，何愁道不了。
人弱心不弱，人贫道不贫，一心要修行，常在道中办，
世人爱荣华，我却不待见，名利总成空，我心无足厌，
堆金积如山，难买无常限。子贡他能言，周公有神算，
孔明大智谋，樊哙救主难，韩信功劳大，临死只一剑，
古今多少人，哪个活几千？这个逞英雄，那个做好汉，
看看两鬓白，年年容颜变，日月穿梭织，光阴如射箭，
不久病来侵，低头暗嗟叹，自想年少时，不把修行办，
得病想回头，阎王无转限，三寸气断了，那时哪个辨？
也不论是非，也不把家辨，也不争人我，也不做好汉，
骂着也不言，问着如哑汉，打着也不理，推着浑身转，
也不怕人笑，也不做脸面，儿女哭啼啼，再也不得见，
好个争名利，须把荒郊伴。我看世上人，都是精扯淡，
劝君即回头，单把修行干，做个大丈夫，一刀截两断，
跳出红火坑，做个清凉汉，悟得长生理，日月为邻伴。

注释：
寒山，唐代隐士。居浙江天台始丰县西四十公里之寒岩幽窟中，因不详其姓氏，故以“寒山”称之，又称寒山子。

拾得，唐代天台山国清寺隐僧，姓氏籍贯不详，与寒山并称于世。相传天台山的丰干禅师曾于山中赤城道侧，忽闻小儿啼哭，寻得一年约数岁的孩童，故为取名拾得，此即为拾得的来历。丰干将他带回国清寺抚养。拾得长大后，在寺中掌理食堂、香灯的事宜。

寒山常去国清寺，与拾得十分交好。拾得每每将寺中的残羹剩饭藏于竹筒中，若寒山子来时，两人便一同拿到寺外的寒岩幽窟中去。习俗相传，寒山是文殊菩萨的化身，拾得为普贤菩萨的化身。

两人在世曾留下许多诗偈，寒山、拾得的诗（尤其是寒山），具有脱俗的气韵与禅机，对于世俗名利荣华，全不措怀。不唯具有徜徉于大自然的坦荡胸怀，而且往往有警醒佛教徒的精辟之句，因此甚为后人所推重。

Harmoc concert!

2009-06-02T17:18:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was just spectacular.

Yeah, spectacular is definitely the way to describe how I felt yesterday.

Had harmoc parctice the whole morning. Honestly I was still unsure of how to blow winter sonata. The beats and rythm thing was really hard to get, I was frantically trying to count the beats in my heart but in the end I think I still failed to do so. :/ But the funny part came when we were practising the band piece Close To You. The broken umbrella part was just fabulous. I totally laughed my head out at the act and couldn't blow into my harmoc at all! Haha, Meng Fei look super duper cute!

Then we carried chairs and all the things we need to the drame centre from the music room at college side. I seriously think the drama centre should have more chairs though. It's really tiring to carry the chairs and stands plus bags all the way from the music room to drama centrem under the hot, blazing sun :( But of course, being the strong ah ma, I manage to carry three chairs all the way there without toppling over. See! The power of ah ma. This teaches you to never underestimate the strength of old folks, especially those of the grandma/great-grandma status :)

At about 12.30 like that, the seniors released us for lunch and told us that we need to change into our black attires and assemble by 12.45. Right after the announcement, Meng Fei and I, seeing that we only have 15 minutes chiong immediately to the SALT centre to bath. We only spent 5 minutes in shower. Then both of us came out of the cubicles with dripping and messy hair, even more flustered than before. If you're in the girls' toilet then, you'll see two mad people trying to cram thier heads under the 烘干机 in a desperate attempt to dry their hair(s). Meng Fei was like complaining that her hair seems to be 'chaou tah'. In the end I think we didn't really have time enough to dry our hair and tie it back properly, so we just ran back to the drama centre with unkempt appearances but we couldn't care less because we thought we're late. Then when we finally reached, the seniors greeted us with dropping jaws and someone told us that right after we left, the seniors re-announce that we only need to change into our court shoes and not the whole attire.

...

Honestly, at that moment, both of us was stunned. Our minds just went blank and I feel like banging into the walls. Man, it was just super paiseh. All around us there's only the two of us in black lah! Someone tried to comfort us and say that the fact we change so early into our attires shows our passion and enthusiasm for harmoc. But still...

In any case, the day still has to go on and eventually we began to regain enough energy to eat our lunch. Then during our lunch, I guess the most happy thing was that we saw Zhou Quan also wearing the black attire and looking equally confused when he walked up the stairs. That moment both of us just went hysterical. At last we found company and soomeone as blur as us! Then to our extreme delight, when we're almost done with our lunch, we saw yet another senior walking up the stairs in black attire. :) More company! Wahahaha!

After lunch the more serious part came. we had our last rehearsal, which is rather 惨不忍睹. Everyone's in a mess and I think a few stands/mikes/chairs were messed up. Urgh, it was quite terrible and I think we made the seniors worried a lot. However, the best part was during the harmoc song. The whole row of juniors on the right side of the stage was like just dancing around behind the curtains. And the two gays - Damian and Deddy, finaly revealed their true colours. Omg, the things they do send shudders down my spine. Seriously, I am starting to think that all cat high guys are like um, really...

Okay, today I'm just going to crap until here. Wait for Hramoc concert part 2!

Harmoc concert!

2009-05-31T21:16:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm feeling pretty scared and excited now!

Why so?

Excited: Tomorrow's harmoc concert!

Scared: I think I'll play a lot of wrong notes especially during my section piece which I'll get lost half-way.

How how?

I think I'll have insomia today.

*Cross my fingers and hope for luck.

Oh yah, I need to practise tiptoe-ing with court shoes too :/

sick :/

2009-05-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

I couldn't believe myself to fall sick now. When I still got tonnes of uncompleted homework.

GP:
Worksheet

Maths:
Copy Meng fei's tutorial 5A
Tutorial 4B
Study for Maths assignment on fri.

CLL:
看图作文
《锦瑟/山居秋暝》作文

Bio:
Practical 7
Practical 8
Find someone to copy cell division notes.

Chem:
Bonding tutorial (II)
Alternative assignment

GSC:
安乐死summary
食物卫生summary

PW:
Evaluation of materials

Miscellaneous:
Practise harmoc
CIP activity on 9 May

And what did I do for the whole day?

I slept.

I slept at SNEC when I was waiting to go for appointments,
I slept when I reached home at 4.00pm
I slept when waiting for my turn to see the doctor.

My mum says I can be crowned as the 睡仙already.

:/

Today's experience at SNEC was quite scary. I went for another round of blood tests again. When the doctor inject the needle into my arm, I seriously thought that it was going to be last time when they just extracted two tubes of blood. I was thinking to myself, hey, two tubes only, last time you;ve also tried it before, it's okay one.

Then suddenly I felt my left arm went numbless. I turned my haed and was just in time to see that the doctor extracted the fifth tube of blood and was capping it. I was stunned like don't know what. Then my left arm went all limb and flimsy and I need to use my right am to hold my left arm in place or else it really will fell off the sponge suppporting it. The result of losing too much blood, hai.

I am really scared of what's going to happen to my eyes. The anterior uveitis thing doesn't seem to be something that can be easily cured. And it is something that will be able to develop into eye cancer, or so that's what my doctor told me.

Doom Day's coming.

2009-05-01T01:14:00.002+08:00

15 May 2009 = D-day for me.

Meet-The-Parents.

Sheesh, I was never so scared of these kind of functions before. But now I am. I wonder how my father will react when he knows that I got an 'U' for GP and 'S' for Maths (one of my supposedly better subjects )= )

GP AQ test and CLL test really took away my happiness (or whatever's left of it ever since I knew my results). Halfway through GP AQ test I forgot my counter-arguments for two points and there goes my marks. CLL test- an overall disaster. I study the wrong thing!

Urgh. I really hate this feeling of losing control of all my grades. 回想当年 - sigh.

I really must work harder.

Okay, anyway today's quite a slack day (that's if you don't count the GP test and the CLL test), Huilin didn't come today because of sore throat and Far-Ma-Ly miss her. I hope she'll get better soon!

During CT time we chose our fac heads. I was quite torn between choosing who out of the four candidates for fac head. 掌心掌背都是肉。Why must four of them (Andrea, Warren, Preston & Theodore) all run for fac heads? Sigh, I guess the saying 'Great Minds think Alike" really do apply to all four of them. Haha, anyway in the end Andrea's voted as the fac head and her partner's Warren. Actually no matter in what case 09S72 will have a 100% chance in having one of the two fac heads in our class since three out of four candidates running for fac head are in our class. Anyway, when the four candidates are all dancing the fac dance right, Charmaine and I were impressed by Qiuhan's dancing - all her steps are so well-defined and sharp (comment by Char)! But of course all the other candidates and their partners dance well too =)

After CT session we went to the computer room to find Mrs Tan for amendments to PI (urgh) again. Evelyn, Meng Fei and I stayed till quite late, we gossiped for quite a bit though =) Then later Meng Fei and I went to find Mr Poh. He's not, er, in the very exact mood to answer our questions after all the lessons (I think he seems really tired and flustered when we saw him). Haha, Meng Fei and I accidentally 'provoked' him and he threatened (?) to take off 20 marks from our lipid tests if we still keep on asking him for our results for the test. Then we a bit like "fled" from the classroom. Both of us were like laughing all the way when we went up to the Music Room to gather for the Harmoc Post-SYF Party as we thought of how we 落荒而逃 from the classroom!

Harmoc Post-SYF Party turned out to be rather nice =) I thought it'll be quite boring at first. We got to know the J1 Harmoc people better =) (I seriously think that the proportion of guys to girls in the J1 Harmoc people is really quite similar to our CLL class) I ganna the 终极密码 when we're playing the game and had to soak my foot in the pool with another CCA mate(sheesh, I forgot her name alr) as some sort of dare. Actually I thought it's more of a treat rather than a dare. The instant you dipped your foot into the cold water - it's really so 爽! Then we took a walk around our senior's condo and discover this playground-in-a-pool - isn't that cool? Meng Fei and I were really tempted to take off our shoes and socks and to wade in the water, but we didn't dare because we haven't really sought permission from our senior beforehand. Anyway we're also not too sure how deep the water is. Such a pity! Haha, but anyway in the end we still manage to play at the slide in the conventional playground found at our senior's condo too. Both of us really fit the description of 童心未泯 =D

I went home at about 9.20 pm and it still took me one and a half hours to reached home. I was really tired then, slept on MRT for the whole journey from Choa Chu Kang to Toa Payoh.

Sigh, tommorow (or rather, TODAY) will have to chiong all the homework. One thing I realise every since secondary school days - long weekends are never long. In fact, it's always shorter as teachers will always happily give more homework to us, Either that, or you'll find that you have a lot of homework to catch up on. (A perfect example: GSC summaries. CLL essays.)

Hey GSC people please remember to do your *人口老化/优雅社会/器官移植/安乐死 summaries and hand up by Monday can? Got a lot of people still haven't pass up these summaries to me leh! Thanks and let's hope that we'll have a nice weekend.

*Delete where appropriate.

...

2009-04-24T21:49:00.002+08:00

What kind of trouble did I get myself into?

2 chinese compos (mon)
2 gsc summaries (mon)
1 supposed-to-hand-in-yet-still-cannot-be-explained-why-still-on-my-table PI (mon)
1 bio DNA tutorial (tues)
2 sets of bio notes to copy (mon)
1 chem bonding 2 tutorial (thurs)
1 chem lecture test (mon)
1 cll test (thurs)
1 don't-know-pop-out-from-where cip activity

Sayonara LXY, I can't see any hope for you :(

Grandchildren/great-grandchild, 阿嬷先走一步了。Take care of yourselves, 阿嬷'll miss you all.

the week's doings

2009-04-17T23:41:00.009+08:00

Someone told me that this blog is always full of emo stuff. So, I've decided to blog the don't-know-in-how-long-happening-once-in-a-blue-moon not emo stuff for a change =) After all, there should always be a balance of viewpoints. That's the basic rule for writing a GP essay.

...

Okay, I know I'm lame.

Anyway, this week hasn't been a very nice week for me. I was being constantly bombarded by family problems and stuff, but I guess all these problems are what made me understand my family members better. Thursday night was the thunderstorm night where all the unpleasant truths were thrown straight into my face. I seriously wouldn't want a repeat of what happened that night again in the rest of my life. But I guess these kinds of things are inevitable. Here, I will like to sincerely apologise to my dear mum for making her angry. Sorry!!!!

Friday night was an eventful one though. Far-Ma-Ly attended the ARES "Zzzz party". Hmm. The food's quite nice (I like the dessert), the overall ambience's good, although halfway through we were getting restless and started taking photos. I was fanning myself all the while though, sitting at the inner plaza at night without any wind really isn't a fun thing to do. Here I must also thank Meng Fei (My dear dear bf!) for wearing the school-u with me =) You've lit up my day =)

Congrats to Preston for being crowned as the Fac Hunk, though honestly I think the Fac Babe should also be him too =)

Anyway, here's something (lame) to share (inspiration of story taken from The Case of the Missing Chocolate Bscuit, 16/04/2009, 4.00pm, A303):

Who stole the Hello-Panda from the Table-top?

馒头 stole the Hello-Panda from the Table-Top.

Who me?

Yes you.

Couldn't be!

Then who?

Er... good question. Let me think. I remember seeing Hello-Panda on the Table-top. It's in a red elongated cardboard box. I was thinking to myself that the Hello-Panda looks delicious. Then(blah blah blah)...

After a few more rounds of investigation, the mystery of the missing Hello=Panda is finally solved. And the culprit is...

THE END!

...

2009-04-12T21:59:00.002+08:00

I feel like banging my head on the wall. It's 10 pm now and I still have to do my gsc summary, my cll compo and study for maths assignment tomorrow. I honestly wonder why I'm still here. Heavens bless me I think I'm really going to 死得很难看 the next week.

directions from my dreams

第三人称

责任

承诺

反省

米虫生活

开心的事

娱乐

New Blogskin!

累

遗憾

依然

保持微笑

快乐至上

Sleepover! And some reflections?

Outing(s)!

Somehow it seems wrong

世界末日吗?!

生活一二事

sad or...

MIschevious Kiss/Playful Kiss

He's Just Hot

happy!

为什么呢？

shopping/prom

Last Post until the end of A levels

彻底一点吧

Irritated

改变心态

Horrification

Prelims' over

Screwed

大难临头

Photo taking!

Ming Boggling

喊

Test Schedule

挫败

GP file organisation

Birthday wishes.

Block Test 2 plus sentiments

harmoc section 1 JTS!

Now what?

美丽的一天

ray of sunshine?

Windworks'10: REWIND

Bulldozer?

不死也掉一层皮

CLL test

sense of bitterness

dictatorship

Epic stuff?

accomplished?

Zombified.

overdose

Overslept - again!

since the dawn of civilisation

Food for thought?

Race against teachers?

PW results

坚持

巧合

Homework list

要说什么呢？

乐极生悲 or 自作孽？

完蛋了？

horrible feeling

恶寒

半天假呢?

You're Beautiful MVs

猫咪，你在等谁？

容易高兴 容易伤心

“人来疯”内心剖解

PW'S OVER

记者日记

咬牙切齿

诡异的灾害

after promos...

what the heck is happening to me?

just sick?!

容易高兴容易伤心