I seriously wonder if this is a season of bad luck for me.

Fainting first, folllowed by vomiting. And I also don't understand why I am here in the morning at 3+ am.

Are these kinds of torments never going to end for me?

Urgh. And it has to be before promos, the "狂风正吹起"的时段.

How how how???

Urgh...

Is it interesting that I have to find Methotrexate in the bio notes I am studying now too?(Control of eukaryotic gene expression, pg 8)

I don't like the effects of Methotrixate.
But I have to take it.
Or I may have to pay the price of my eyes for it.
...................................................................................................................................................................
This is seriously disturbing. I think my body is getting a little bit too weak now. Not that I was ever the healthy baby from the start.
Anyway, good thing is, my limbs which have been rather numb since thursday is finally getting a bit better. Bad news is, I'm developing a rather bad sore throat.
Whatever medicine the doctor gave me for my sore throat, I am quite positive that it's not working. Or not working in the correct way, at least. I mean, the usual side effects of feeling drowsy, tired, those are still there, but talk about curing the sore throat...

Oh wells. What can I say?

现实与理想的挣扎。究竟，谁胜谁败？孰重孰轻？
剪不断，理还乱，这句话竟然讽刺性的成为我现在最大的烦恼。
剪不断的，是对理想的渴望；理不清的，是对现实的残酷。
想来想去，到最后是越想越乱。
到底该怎么办？
站在对自己前途而言，我是该欣然赴这场盛宴的，但我还是太怯懦了，一直都不敢踏出第一步。
到最后，或许大哭一场会比较有效吧？但是哭，又能怎样？这也是我问自己好几遍的问题。于是乎，我们又回到了原点。
真的好烦，脑袋里乱哄哄的，该做的、不该做的都搅和在一起，把原本的次序一一颠覆。
—————————————————————————————————————————————————
道德和利益之间的拉锯战从未在我脑海中停下过。真的，我发现我变得好多，但不知道是不是变好还是变坏。道德的界限随着年龄增长越见模糊，我也无力挽回那条虚拟的线。只能时时提醒自己，这样做对吗？

唉，头又在疼了。想得太多，果然是件坏事。

Designer: bw0kensmile-x
Image Hosting: photobucket.com
Image Hosting: imageshack.us
Image source: deviatart
Tagboard: cbox.ws.com
Music: baidu.com
Cursor: dorischu